M33, F28 Dated for two years but now broken up
Will I be able to find that again?
To keep it short I dated a girl for two years where the good times were amazing but she was no where to be found when I was going through something or needed her. I loved her and her family. She was weird and bit crazy. The type of girl who does not think through any situation but instead purely reacts off of her feelings and is disappointed when what she had in her head isn't what actually happens. She had some trauma from an abusive father who she no longer spoke to. Her family reguarly told me that none of her boyfriends ever treated her this well. When we broke up it was rough. We went through a pretty traumatic event together where I woke up to her screaming in the middle of the night. She was having a night terror but I had no idea she had them. It slowly crumbled after that and she was never able to get over it. We both hurt each other with the break up. I ended up breaking up with her when she couldn't talk to me for two weeks or tell me why. Two months after I reached out to her to talk to see if we could try one more time and she told me she felt our relationship had run its course, and she wanted to find a way to be friends but that's all she would ever want to be. Her sister, mom and nieces would reach out to me a few times after the break up saying they knew she was making a mistake and they missed me, but her and I haven't had contact since last October. Since then we have seen each other in passing and I can tell it hurts her every time she sees me.
She did not treat me very well in the relationship many times. She would regularly ask me to do things and undersell what it is, without thinking of the impact it would have on me. If I tried to explain to her why I was frustrated or upset she would always say "you can't be mad at me because I didn't think about that!" or "Well you can't be mad because I didn't mean to!". But if I messed up it didn't matter my intentions and she would fall apart and make a huge deal of it, often not talking to me for days. Not to say I didn't have my shitty moments and short comings, but I always apologize and try and do better.
Despite all of that, her not being there for me when I need her (anxiety attacks, my fiends funeral, etc), she was a person that the every day and the mundane never felt that way when I was with her. We were goofy and fun and had a similar 6th grade sense of humor. I have heard that you know who you are supposed to be with when every little moment feels big because of the one you're with. Did I miss out on the person I'm supposed to be with? or is that something that can easily be found again? If that is the person and I lost her, is there hope, or what now?