Dead or Dying parent figures keep cropping up in romance books and it's bumming me out!
I'm getting sort of fed up with the number of books using dead/dying/seriously ill parents (or parental figures) as a plot point. It's one of my least favourite tropes. It's almost always Alzheimer's or dementia which they're suffering with, although not always. Why do we think this is used quite frequently in the romance genre (and other genres)?
I'm struggling to put my finger on why I dislike it. Maybe it's just me, but does anyone else find this trope to be frustrating? Some thoughts I have
It feels like a conflict which has nothing to do with the romantic relationship, so I feel like it's taking away from the romance plot.
I just find it upsetting and not enjoyable in a genre I generally read for fun. I'm not adverse to some drama and realism in books, it doesn't all have to be sunshine but maybe I am just bored and feel like it is played out
It sometimes feels like a shortcut to character development. Why write a character with nuanced personality when we can just make them "sad because my Dad's dead" and call it character development?
But none of these reasons quite hit the mark for me. I wonder if anyone else can articulate it.
What do you think of this trope? Do you enjoy it? Tolerate it? Dislike it? Why? Do you have some examples where you feel like it enhanced the plot significantly? Or any examples where you thought it was particularly bad.
Some examples of books I'm talking about and the specifics. These are all books I finished, there were a number more that I DNF or had this and a more minor side plot:
{The Shots You Take by Rachel Reid} - >!one MCs Dad dies suddenly at the start of the book. The whole romance plot takes place while he is grieving and planning his Dad's funeral, and it cheapened the whole romance for me because it felt like he was being taken advantage of at a vulnerable time!<
{Hate Me Like You Mean it by Kyra Parsi} - >!the whole inciting incident of of the book was explained away by the MMC's Mum having early-onset dementia, which felt lazy. He also manages to become a multi *billionaire* while caring for her!<
{Sinner by Sierra Simone} - >!the MMCs Mum has terminal cancer and dies on page in a long deathbed scene, followed by various scenes of grieving. That's not what I want to read in a smutty romance novel. At all.!<
{And Now, Back to You by B.K. Borison} - >!the FMC’s Grandad has dementia. During the book they are on a work trip and she has to return early because he is taken to hospital. I didn't mind this so much because it was a more minor part of the plot, but conversely that made it feel sort of pointless!<
On the plus side, at least this is usually included in trigger warnings, I just forget to check for most romances that aren't advertised as dark