Dunno, unrequited crush i guess
Hello, i don't usually use reddit but I guess i'll post this to get it off my chest, this will be a long read so apologies. I am in my last year of university and I have a severe crush on a girl in my class, living rent free in my head, levels of crush. Though I suppose thats typical from this community. Anyways, this girl i've known her since my first year of university, and well ever since I first saw her I thought she was really beautiful and cute. Both her and I are quite introverted, though I been joining clubs and doing school activities and stuff to try and be more social in hopes of gaining confidence to talk to her. I did get better at socializing and making friends but i still can't bring myself to approach her.
Outside of class assignments or group projects I've never really talked to her, except for one time where she seemed excited to talk about some anime themed pens she had on her which gave me hope I had something in common with her and could become her friend. But shortly after like an absolute moron I had a team exam and i got paired with her, i dont know what i was thinking but at the time I thought to myself that i didn't want to bring down her grades so I rejected teaming up with her. She clearly didin't know my reasons and probably made it look like i didn't wanna team up with her. Way to go me. Another time, we had a team meeting and only her and I showed up while everyone else cancelled, I don't think i've ever felt more nervous, so nervous in fact I didn't take the inniative to make conversation and only talked school stuff... at least I let her borrow my umbrella that day.
Fastforward to the present, and im close to graduating. As I said, she is introverted, so introverted in fact that she doesn't talk much to any other classmates and leaves immediately as soon as class ends, though that could be that she just likes to be alone because my classmates have tried talking to her and getting to know her but apparently she gives short answers, not sure. Im graduating soon and yet, I still think about her. These are confusing times, part of me says I should just forget about her, but another makes me want to approach her, maybe be her friend but I just can't seem to do it. It should be a bit easier given the fact that I know she likes anime stuff and is by herself a lot of the times, but i just freeze up. I guess i'm scared i'll just make things awkward since i see her in class everyday, then again, i don't talk to her regularly.
My delusions spiral up every so often too, I remember the times I made her laugh from stupid comments Ive made during classes and it makes me think I should say something.
Im graduating soon, and i'm also scared I'll leave university without ever having said anything. These days ive been considering texting her a msg asking if she wants to be friends, but i mean ive known her for 2 years now and i think shed find that weird... But then again i can't seem to approach her...
God im cooked, and she's so pretty too...