u/I-am-not-spartan

I'm 2mos out from a hysto and I had my ovaries removed. I was expecting my T levels to be on the high end but they dropped by about 100 since my last pre-op test. I'm quite surprised by this and I always test on the same day in my shot cycle for consistency. The best guess I have is with no ovaries or breasts I am no not producing my own T in addition? Additionally, my estrogen came back high. It was very low after top surgery last year and was over 2x higher this time. I am prescribed E cream for atrophy and I have a suspicion it's affecting my levels even though my doctor said it should do that. My SHBG is very low which is also confusing me. Anyone else had this happen?

Back when I was going through puberty as a teen I never felt like I had the same experience as the girls my age. I had oily skin - like we are talking I left an oil outline on my bed sheets from my body (I still do just not as bad). Cystic acne all over my face, shoulders, and back that persisted into adulthood until I went on accutane. My BO was comparable to a teenage boy and I had way too much body hair everywhere. Chest hair, stomach hair, facial hair, excessive underarm / pubic hair, etc that was dark and left a shadow no matter how often I shaved. I could not even wear a bikini it was so bad. It was so embarrassing having to reapply deodorant multiple times a day since middle school and none of my female friends could relate to any of this. My body was more male shaped besides being cursed with a large chest, which interestingly had barely any fat, according to my surgeon when I had top surgery. It was just skin and dense tissue. I also had almost no fat on my hips, had broad and muscular shoulders, and when I gained weight it distributed in more of a male pattern around my belly area. Feminine clothing never fit right on my body and when I was forced to wear dresses I looked like a dude in a dress (hell yeah to the dudes who rock them it just it wasn't my vibe). I know my DHEA levels were much higher than a cis male at the same age but it was never looked into further and is probably why all of this happened. My puberty experience overall was a lot closer to what my brother experienced than my sisters.

When I went on T I didn't see as much of the common changes and it was frustrating because I felt like it wasn't working. Everyone said it was like going through a second puberty but I never got that feeling. The changes I did see were interesting. Like for me the little fat I had in my hips distributed quickly - it was one of the first changes. And since then I've had little to no change in fat movement because my body already has a male shape. I have had zero issues with acne coming back, no increased hunger, no change in body smell, and no change in ability to gain muscle. It wasn't until I was talking with my doctor recently that we both realized I went through two puberties at once in my teens and thats a lot of why I felt different from everyone else at the time. I never felt like a girl because my body didn't look or feel like one and it's hard to explain but it's a layer deeper than just being trans. I didn't really stop and think that my body was actually more masculine than I perceived it to be both naturally and from maintaining a workout routine since before starting HRT.

As my doctor explained it, I get to go right into a later stage of the puberty process that might take others years to get to. So changes will feel slower for me. The only changes I really notice now are my beard getting fuller / creeping up my cheeks and slight vocal changes here and there. On one hand, I'm appreciative of speed running parts of my transition but it also feels less euphoric in a way that is hard to articulate.