AIO I'm worried that my friend/roommate might get sabotaged and or is being manipulated by a close friend.
My friend "John" (m21) and I (m24) recently let one of his very close friends, "Mike" (m21), move in with us. We were both excited because we wanted to lower the rent, and this particular friend was known for being a cornerstone for John's group before he moved off campus. I met him a few times before he moved in and honestly thought he was a chill person, so he didn't talk very much one-on-one. However, since Mike has moved in, I feel like I've been put between a rock and a hard place. Specifically because of John's partner "Lisa" (f24) and I'm not 100%, but my own relationship with John.
It sort of started this week after me and John returned from a long trip and Lisa stayed the night. Mike and I were chilling downstairs while Lisa and John were in his room upstairs, Mike started talking about how lonely it's been since we left and how it was really unfortunate that we decided to do our trip the day after he started to move in. Mike is a sensitive type from what I've already picked up, so I figured it was one of those things, and I said well we're here now. Then he went on about how he's barely gotten a chance to hang out with John and how they used to be with each other all the time when they lived together. After hearing him continue, I started picking up on the idea that it was definitely more about him wanting his relationship with John back the way it was and how he felt like he's been left out. At some point that night, I decided to get some needed sleep.
The next morning I made a big breakfast and we all sat at the dining room table and had a nice meal. During this time, I started picking up on certain quirks that Mike had. Specifically, having some sort of praise/ acknowledgment thing and needing to make it clear about wanting certain things and not wanting certain things. It was mildly irritating, but as a neurodivergent person myself, I could be tolerant enough to deal with it. I then engaged in a conversation with John and Lisa about a potential trip we might have next year and for some reason Mike kept on asking things not involved or bringing up vocal stims that kind of threw off our conversation. It's tough to determine if they were deliberate, but eventually, we ended up changing the subject. That's when Lisa started talking about anime, something Mike is really into, and they got into a bit of a controversial topic involving fanfic. By no means did it feel heated and honestly turned into a really good post breakfast conversation between Lisa and I pertaining to criminal cases.
(* Disclaimer, I don't know anything about anime, and to the best of my knowledge, the topic was on using certain characters at different stages in life to create stories to prevent being weird. I am not aware enough of any of these subcultures or sites mentioned, so my involvement chalked it up to as long as it doesn't involve a child I could give two shits)
Another major point was a particular conversation I had the other day with Mike on the way to a gas station. After more consideration for the trip for spring break, I asked Mike if he was interested in going. This is when Mike said I would if Lisa wouldn't come, but he severely doesn't trust her. He went on to say that during that conversation we had at breakfast, it made him feel like Lisa is a creep and brought up multiple times that her age doesn't help the situation. Either with the conversation or her relationship with John. ( Which I took partial offense to because I'm the same age as her and also think was ridiculous because it's literally a three year difference, and we are all in our early twenties.) He also said that he felt like he couldn't get a word in during the conversation and how he thinks he just can't find it within himself to really like her. He also said that he's talked to John about this and said Lisa is going to therapy about it, but Mike thinks that's not a good excuse for how he believes she acted. I mentioned that I didn't feel like that was the case during that breakfast, and I mentioned that you don't have to like her, but it would be nice to be supportive of John. At which point Mike started getting into a rant about how John's been spending the entire week at Lisa's house and how there is so much that he was wanting to do between them and now it feels like she's so controlling over him. Not to mention mentioning a personal secret that would really upset her if this was found out. Which I was very worried about and bringing up in the first place.
After that, for the last 2 days, anytime I'm in a public area of the house, Mike makes a presence and starts conversations either about himself or John and his relationship. I genuinely don't like to analyze people but from what I've been noticing is that many of Mike's social cues and interactions have a focus of making himself the center of attention either by constantly bickering or asking for help for mediocre stuff like opening a can. On one hand, I can chalk this down to this being the first time he's lived off campus or out of home but at the same time reminds me so much of a power control wheel prompt I learned in interpersonal communication. He also spoiled the ending of My Hero Academia to me for no reason except for maybe making it less of a reason for me to stick around to watch it because he's been trying to finish the series with John. Also, the few times John has been present, Mike has seemed somewhat bothered by my presence if he doesn't ignore me all together. Fortunately, he's leaving for 5 days on a trip, so I'll have some time to have a clear head.
Now, to explain why all of this had to be mentioned.
I'm worried that Mike has become insanely bothered by John's relationship with Lisa and is willing to reveal this secret to potentially hurt or ruin their relationship. I also think that he's actively trying to push himself back into a position that he was previously in with John's life and someone like me and Lisa both are threats since we're not a part of any original group or center of influence. Of course I haven't mentioned every single detail and I will admit I have a slight biased against him simply because of how he's been towards me and certain characteristics that have gotten on my nerves. I really want to have a heart to heart with John about this but don't want to make mountains out of molehills unless it really feels necessary. So now I leave it up to you to answer, am I overreacting?