My husband threw his keys at me and left.
For a months now my husband has been just mean and snapping at me. Any attempt to find out what was wrong was met with "I'm just tired" "bad day" "stressed out". Him snapping at me got worse and naturally I thought it was something that I did, if I tried to ask I was met with explosive anger and something along the lines of "nothing was wrong until you wouldn't stop asking" (I only asked once or twice in the span of a week). So I just stopped asking.
The more time that went on the more he snapped and pulled away. Wouldn't call as much, didn't want to play video games together or watch anything. He was constantly playing his own games or had his face buried in his phone. I figured he needed space so I gave it to him. Didn't pressure him to spend time with me but left the option open if he wanted to. It just got worse.
Anything he did bring up to me I listened and something was done about it relatively quickly (same day). Through all of this I wasn't snapping at him, I didn't start arguments. I tried to stay normal and cheerful. Made the same jokes and kept him in the loop on anything I normally would. Basically just acting as normal as possible despite the rising anxiety I felt about everything.
Then maybe 2 weeks ago now he started going in on the animals. Kicking at them (not hard) yelling at them, just generally annoyed with their existence. Along with escalating how often he was snapping at me. I finally had enough. It had been a month and a half of this. It started with me asking again what was going on. I mentioned how everything had been and he insisted he was acting normally. When I pressed a little more and told him I didn't want him treating our animals that way and I didn't deserve to be snapped at all the time he lost it. Like absolutely lost it. Instantly screaming and a look on his face that just was hate filled. He started yelling about one particular reason for the way he's been acting and I was confused... Because it had already been addressed a good week or more before this point. Then he vaguely mentioned having a problem with me but would not say what it was. Just "you can't fix it this time". The screaming continued and he kept just escalating the situation. Getting more and more mad, despite me trying to stay calm and just find out wtf was going on. None of it mattered. He got to a point of leaving and I just told him we both needed to cool off and collect ourselves a little.
A couple days passed of the silent treatment, shooting me dirty looks from time to time.. while acting normal at others. I was/am so lost. A week passes and he starts calming down some, so I try to approach the conversation again. Because I really am trying to do right by him and if there was something I was doing wrong I wanted to stop doing it. He lost it again immediately and kept coming up with all these reasons that made no sense or had already been more than resolved. "It doesn't have to make sense" "stop trying to make sense of it". Basically telling me that was it he was done and I needed to accept it. But he wasn't leaving. It's like he wanted to punish me. This whole time still snapping at me while telling me he was working on everything.
That brings us to now. I messed up yesterday. I started getting anxious and tried talking to him, it turned into a fight. I immediately saw how I was acting and stopped. Apologized. Gave him space afterwards. He was snapping at me for everything. I told him I didn't want to live like this. I was fine giving him the space he needed but I just didn't want to be treated this way. He lost it again. This time talking over me and eventually threw the keys at me and left. I didn't chase him this time. Just let him leave.
I still have to see him at work. This is just so hard. In front of others he acts like everything is fine. Asks me questions and talks to me like he used to before this whole mess. I'm just breaking inside. I don't know what to do anymore.