u/IGetEvrythingIDesire

Looking for honest input from anyone who's been here. I'm in my early 30s, queer, and for a mix of reasons (demi, asian, just life) I'm pretty inexperienced on the partnered physical side of things. I can flirt and connect, but I tend to cut things off before they go anywhere, and a lot of that is the gap between where I am and where I assume people my age are.

I'm trying to figure out the right approach. Dating intentionally hasn't gotten me anywhere for six years, so I'm kind of at the fck it stage 😅 Part of me wants to lower the stakes and just get some basic experience (like kissing! never kissed before!) under my belt with people I'm not deeply invested in, so it stops feeling like such a loaded thing. Part of me thinks that would feel hollow and not actually help. I know there's no universal answer but I'm curious how others have navigated it.

If you came to partnered experience later than you expected to, or were a beginner in your 30s, what actually helped? Did pushing yourself work, or did waiting for the right slow-build connection work better? And how did you handle the mental side of feeling behind, separately from the practical side?

Not looking for reassurance, just real experiences if anyone's willing to share.