Trying to be friends with exes
Last year I started dating some one who broke up with me after 3 months because he wasn’t ready for a relationship and said that we could be friends instead. It broke my heart but, we really did have a ton in common and i got along with his friends. The first month or so was brutal because i still had feelings and communicated so. Despite the pain i was able to move on for the most part. I’m sure somewhere deep inside i still care for him but his motivations were clear to me by breaking things off so i continue to date other people. When we were seeing each other last year, it was my birthday week so we spent a lot of time celebrating together. We even went on a trip on the weekend. I’m mentioning all this because it will be important later. So fast forward to this year. His job has him on the road for months at a time. We texted here and there. I tried to hit him up to hang a few times but he brushed me off. We talked a little here and there. I ran into him on a date which sucker punched me but who doesn’t feel weird running into an ex on a date. He ignored me the entire night. Like truly pretended he didn’t see me and that I never existed. That really hurt my feelings but I can understand that it’s an awkward position for everyone involved so I texted him the next day to be mature about it and reassure him that there are no hard feelings. I think for the most part it eased some tension between us, he was a bit friendlier in our texts. This year he texted me to wish me a happy birthday which is really bothering me for some reason because it was a pretty dry text. I guess I appreciate the sentiment but I told him that I missed him (which I said to others who sent me birthday wishes) and he left me on read.
All this to say, I really do want him in my life. I’m friends with other exes. And I know for a fact he’s friends with some of his exes. I think I’m mostly frustrated that he’s keeping me at arms length. I feel like it’s just creating more tension between us and I don’t want that. I also feel like this awkwardness between is impeding from me being able to let go fully. I’m mostly hurt because it sucks spending a lot of time with someone for them to turn around and give you the cold shoulder. Maybe I’m just being naive and I should trying to put in any effort :/
What do you guys think?