AITAH for cutting off my family because of their behavior?
So last year I (35M) gave in to my mom’s request and took in my nephew (22M) to find him some work and help him out to “start his life” and maybe have some money sent to her monthly; need to mention my father passed in 2023 and mom lives with my brother and his 2 kids.
I’m living in a foreign country, married with a foreigner and having a child; I’ve been here for 12 years so I am pretty comfortable with the situation I have (decent income, house on mortgage) so my mother thought it would be good idea to ask me to help him out, so after a lot of debating with my wife (32F) we decided to take him in, after getting a lot of assurance that he won’t be a burden, he’ll be good and listening, working and contributing to the family.
We took him in and I found him a job at my employer, ending up going to work together so I can show him around and train him.
We never charged him rent or even asked for groceries, just his part on the monthly bills (water, heat, electricity)
He had his own room and his own bathroom (which he never bothered cleaning in 6 months)
After starting work, every week I would sit him down and ask if everything is ok, is the work good or did he have any requests or complaints. Always the same answer “all is good”.
After 6 months, he wanted to go for a city break in our home country (Saturday to Tuesday) but when Tuesday came he didn’t return, causing me a great deal of trouble with my employer and losing some work, after the guy I guaranteed for basically quit without notice.
So I called the one that orchestrated everything (mom) and explained the situation and how bad it is for me if he’s pulling this trick; her reply “I understand but I can’t help you, he doesn’t want to come back”
So I’ve decided to cut all contact.
Am I the ah for cutting them off after they just complicated things for me when I just wanted to help them out?