u/IMPublix

I met her at a singles event. She was the first woman I spoke to since divorcing five years ago after a 27 year long bad marriage. And we have so much in common. Values, ethics, interests. It is uncanny.

I liked her too much right away. We talked and texted a lot. I didn’t think I could be enough for her, and ended it after our first date. She had other plans. I knew I made a mistake, and had a chance at a normal relationship. She said we would talk and jump in it together.

Everything has been great. We are taking it slow and building real intimacy first… not physical intimacy. We’ve taken our grandkids on a nature walk together (2m and 3f). We have gone to Disney World, a comedy show, kayaking, and had great times.

We talk every night for about 40 minutes. I couldn’t cast or create a better person for me.

I’m not too shabby. I’m a good man. I’ve worked for habitat for humanity, I push cars out of the street instead of honking, cat foster, served at the homeless shelter frequently. I always give more than I take. Never ask more than I do. Cheerfully do chores and work. Am an eternal optimist and find joy in everything. I’m a good person.

I was an altruistic kidney donor in 2020. I was in the process of being an altruistic liver donor today. Today was (supposed to be) the first of two long medical evaluation days to donate part of my liver to whoever needs it. I was pretty deep in the process. I found out about the cancer the night before the evaluation. I couldn’t get ahold of anyone to cancel, so showed up this morning and talked to my donor coordinator in person. The juxtaposition of this and what’s below is crazy.

Yesterday I found out I (98%) have a rare cancer. I have a 9.3 cm soft tissue sarcoma on my thigh. That is stage 3 already.

She is a nurse. This wonderful woman I am dating. It was her mentioning having to have a cancerous growth removed from her arm. While we were applying sunscreen when kayaking together just 4 days ago.

I looked into her issue that night. Because I like her. I went to urgent care Monday. CAT scan Tuesday. To the VA Hospital today after telling my transplant coordinator this morning. Im a two time combat veteran, as well. Iraq in 2003 and 2007. Kosovo in 2002. have referrals for tissue samples and oncology in now.

Even though this feels like a relationship after only a month, I don’t know what to expect. I don’t expect anything I suppose, but this girl likes me. And is still standing beside me without hesitation.

Tomorrow we are going to a Thai place. She said mango sticky rice is delicious, so I’m taking her somewhere with it. This feels weird. And right. And I’m scared.

We are truly two good people who met in person at a singles event. She overlooked my flaws and weirdness and saw who I am. I have seen who she is and like her way more than I should right now.

I’m optimistic, but given an honest look, it’s probably a coin flip if I’m here in 5 years. Nothing certain yet, but things are pretty clear and information is pretty available.

A few days ago I was thinking what? Dating is hard. No! I found the perfect woman for me first try. Statistical improbabilities happen every day, I suppose. I really thought she was the one.

I still hope she is the one. I like this girl.

I (50M) recently went to singles trivia, speed dating, and a singles mixer… all by the same company. I have not been on any apps. I thought “speed dating” would get me ready socially to “really date.” I ended up meeting a really wonderful woman there, and have been seeing her for about 5 weeks now.

Everyone there is real. I would not think many married men, men looking for just sex, etc. would go (just saying for the ladies… I hear apps suck). There was a very diverse group of people. I had fun, and I am VERY shy. I would recommend it. Now, in my case there were WAY more women than men. I think there were 7 men and 20 women at speed dating. My trivia team was me and 3 women. For the men, it was a good experience. Even if the ratio was more even, I feel that there were very good, quality women there. Again, you have to be fairly serious to pay the fee (maybe $35), show up, and participate.

Your mileage may vary, but if it is an option where you are, try it once. I feel like I found a very good person for me without wading through apps. Although this woman and I seem to be VERY good match; remember… we are all just trying to find someone we have some things in common with and that we can get along well with. I don’t know if I believe in a “spark.” Go. Have some real conversations in person. Find someone interesting. See what happens.

Men. Be kind. Look with an open mind and heart. Dress and groom meticulously. Be yourself, because that is who you will be eventually, and who you want the other person to like. Talk. Ask questions. Talk like a friend, which is what a partner should be first. I hear “the men weren’t engaging.” Have fun.

And everyone, look outside your box. My ex has been on the apps (I suppose is how to say it) for 4 years, and finally found someone serious after opening her normal criteria. She is 5 ft 10. He is 5 ft 6, and who cares. What is everyone looking for… tall, hair, beauty, education, dressing style? I get it, but there may be a gem out there that is a little short, needs advice on style, is bald now (most men will be eventually), or whatever. Nobody is perfect.