I'm Becoming The Angry Man In The House And I Fear I Can't Stop It.
Simple and sweet; I'm becoming an angry, deadbeat and controlling abuser.
There's this quote I recently read and it's just really hit me.
"If you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. You will find him even when he's not there.”
Like I always knew I was angry and violent. But this just really hit me with how bad I've become.
To be honest I'd say I'm a classic example of having an abusive father. I get very angry and emotional easily. And it's the type where I can't think at all, I don't think till it's over and done. I crave for control over the people I love and when I can't I punish them with silent treatment and mockery. I don't do anything either. I like to say it's the depression but honestly I don't really know if it is anymore.
I destroy things in my anger, and I'm always yelling and shouting and complianing and saying very harsh things. My tone is off, my words are rough and mean. I'm entitled too. More than I'd like to admit.
I sound and act so much like him. And I'm so very scared. I don't want to be him. I don't...but I never make progress. I haven't made any progress or changes. I'm still so mean and violent.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for, honestly I'm just stuck being the bad kind of loser. Maybe advice, stories or anything really. Just...is it too late for me.