I realized my family works like a sitcom
I've been looking for ways to describe my very superficial family and I decided that nothing comes as close as "sitcom".
- They always make repetitive stupid and hurtful jokes where you are supposed to laugh over and over again for decades. In sitcoms, we rarely sympathise with the victim of a bad joke. My family learned that they can say absolutely anything, pass it as a joke, and expect you to laugh. If you don't, you ruin the fun.
- They never go deep. When someone dies, you go to the funeral, you laugh about some stupid detail and then the funeral is over and never mentioned again. If it's a very tragic story, you might get two episodes. When someone is sick, you bring flowers to the hospital and then never mention it again. It's like they always wait for the end of the episode and when you try to bring something up from the previous episode they tell you that you're crazy for it.
- We all have predefined roles and we aren't allowed to grow out of them. I'm still the same person I was 20 years ago according to my family, even if I live in a different country and went from young to middle age. If you're a supporting character (like me), what you do when you're off screen doesn't matter, you only matter when you visit the main characters and engage with their news. Some of us have to have it all together at all times, while others get all the grace because they have been assigned the role of the comic relief that always messes things up. There is no balance, no nuance.
- They always know best. Like people in sitcoms act like the outside world doesn't exist, my family comes from a small town and can't imagine any other way of existing. They don't learn from other cultures or not even someone who comes from the closest city. They are about 10 years behind, defend outdated stances as if you're crazy for having learned there is a better way.
I'm sure I come from an autistic family. Everybody is undiagnosed, even a person that sadly ended up homeless as a result of lack of support. I don't know why, but I seem to be the only gifted hypersensitive individual that wants to have deep relationships and conversations. I grew up feeling very lonely. I am still very lonely to this day and I struggle to explain why, as my parents were not awfully abusive and my mom cared about appereances so basics had to be covered.
I'm curious if anyone else experienced this type of family? How do you accept it? I am ok being a supportive character, but I struggle with having to adhere to a script that hasn't been updated in twenty years.