My (28F) husband (30M) is still not ok that I kept my birth name
I (28F) have chosen to keep my birth name (maiden name) after getting married to the love of my life (30M). My name is very ethnic, identifiable, and formal. Growing up, I was somewhat embarrassed by it because people could not pronounce it, and I felt very visible because of it. In my adult years, I grew to love it, and I very much identify with it now because it holds a lot of meaning and is symbolic. I am not keeping my birth name because of my professional degrees or publications; it is just a very personal reason that I identify with my name.
Before getting married, I told my husband that I wasn’t going to change my name to his last name. We argued about it a handful of times because he would prefer that I took his name. We are now 2 years married and this argument has resurfaced since I am hosting a family baby shower, and my birth name is on the invitation as a hostess. After showing my husband the invitation so that he can proof it, the only comment he had was that my birth name was written instead of my married name. He said that he is “just content” with seeing my name written like that, but that he would be happy if my married name was written on the invitation.
It seems like everyone but me has an issue with my name. I do not take offense when letters, invitations, place cards, etc. say my married name. I don’t correct people when they call me Mrs. Husband’s Name. It’s not that I don’t identify with my married name, it’s that I identify with my birth name more. I’m sure it will continue to come up for the rest of my life, so how do I continue to navigate this? What are some helpful ways to continue advocating for myself?
ETA: Divorce is not on the table. Neither is hyphenating my last name. My full name is already 29 letters long.