Breakup with an avoidant + grieving - can we stay friends?
Currently going through the worst breakup with an avoidant after losing 2 babies, break up was just before my second unplanned pregnancy, a few months after the first, so I went through an intense loss over the past 4 weeks. Problem is, I cannot grieve without him.
We live in 2 different cities, he’s still in my hometown, I’m 6hrs away. We agreed to stay in contact over the phone for him to support me but it only results in me splitting, and I had the worst split ever last week and no contact ever since.
I will drive back home bc I can barely survive my days here. Can’t distract myself, nothing helps. Even been to a clinic & ER. He’s completely avoidant and overwhelmed while I can’t proceed with my life without his support in the grieving process. How he handled it was the worst ever and I don’t want to allow the disrespect but the hate towards him just makes it worse.
I don’t want to get back with him as I finally understand it will never work. I would like to end this amicably somehow to reduce the pain of „loss“.
I would like to keep him in my life but don’t know how, has anyone ever succeeded in staying friends with an avoidant ex?