i’m 19F and still in highschool i’ve been dealing with depression since i was 13 but in my family depression isn’t a thing for them unfortunately. (sorry for the long rant, i have no one i can talk to or help me)
i’ve been dealing with family issues since i was like 2-3yo seeing my family falling apart arguing every single day and not having my mother near me since i was 8 months old. i’ve been sexually assaulted before i even started school and when i was 13 my own mother blamed me for it even though i’ve been trying to avoid the old man that had been touching me sexually. after that my highschool life started falling apart i developed anxiety started skipping school because of my mental health and my grades dropped because no one care enough to teaches me properly and was scream at by my classmates for asking for help since then my whole body started losing motivation and gave up. then when i was in 10 grade i was severely bullied mentally about my past suicide attempt to the point i only go to school at least two days a week when i finally told my family they blamed me for not telling them sooner and fyi i’ve been criticized by my own family for my whole entire life so i fell into deep depression and no one see it as mental health issues they see it as lazy. i’ve been harming myself and took multiple sleeping pills every night but i still couldn’t sleep and they all say that it’s because i choose not to sleep at night that’s why i couldn’t sleep even though i had insomnia and another thing is my body is slowly giving up i get sick almost everyday but no one see it as a mental health issue. and today i was humiliated by my teacher and everyone laughed at me and he recorded me for not being able to solve math problems and i came home crying but instead of comfort my own family criticized me and scolded me for being lazy, and i’ve harmed myself and cried so much now i really want to give up and commit because i am really tired.