u/Icy_Revenue_3127

Im going to be as Blunt and straight forward as possible. I regret dating my partner, I chose the wrong person, were still in our early 20s but I regret her.

Story time, (summer 2022) when I was 17 my friend introduced me to a girl he was talking to, through conversations and story replies we end up talking, I got invited to her birthday with a few other friends. I slowly started to feel like she was talking to me more then my friend, he liked her romantically but she seemed to keep friend zoning him. One day I met up with my friend to go out, he walks towards me and starts crying his eyes out “she removed me on instagram” and I comforted him, like any friend would. The same girl asked to hang out a week later, weirdly enough I didn’t think much of it, she got me a bouquet of flowers, and we walked around outside my school. We ended hanging out more and more and I even got to meet her mom. I was insecure and acted irresponsible, I didn’t tell anymore about the fact that we were dating other than my close close friends, the guy who liked her didn’t know, and that’s a guilt I still Carry to this day. We ended up dating unofficially, not a lot of people knew, she came over a couple of times and my parents met her. (Winter 2022) Her home situation wasn’t the best and I tried giving her comfort by letter her sleep over. I made a lot of fun memories with her and honestly I felt like she was the one. I just knew I didn’t have the balls to tell my friend. Without going public she got upset, all she wanted to be “shown” and I couldn’t give that. We broke up, I went to her house to drop her things, we walked at a park and discussed about it. We both cried and honestly I didn’t know how I felt, I walk her back, we talk, we kiss goodbye, we made out, and we had sex. Goodbye sex. I was fed up with being fed this toxic mindset that I caused. I ruined a perfectly good girl that I could’ve dated properly because I was scared, she wasn’t doing good mentally and I just couldn’t keep it together (Summer 2023)

Few months pass by and I meet a new girl, we hit it off well and started dating, and even forget about the previous one, (November 2023) during a party I get a text message from the old girl, I never told my girlfriend. She took edibles and decided to reply to a message I sent about how much I love her, mind u out chat was cleared so I couldn’t even see what I sent, she replied to what I said with “does this still count” we ended up talking again, and I secretly met up with her, we hugged, went to a park, and sat. The whole time I kept thinking “I missed this” I told her about the fact that I couldn’t date her because I had a situation going on, I lied it wasn’t a situation, I had a full blown relationship but I didn’t say that” that made her think “oh I’ll wait” we met up again and have sex. Again the problems start coming up “why can’t we be official” she asks me about my girlfriend and I tell her how I don’t see anything with her (first girl not my gf). She starts cussing me and about her, she called her a skank and a homewrecker. I defended my girlfriend, and me and her eventually stopped talking. I continued dating my gf and we’ve been at it for almost 2 ish years.

I regret that, I wake up everyday thinking I made the wrong choice, I chose the wrong person. Even tho me and my gf click, “it’s not her” I go to sleep thinking “did she find someone new”

I’ll he honest when I say this, but I wanna break up with my gf, I can’t be happy here, I wanna leave her and just message you, saying how much I regret it, and that im sorry for doing her wrong, and for being such an idiot. I’m honest about how I feel and I really just wish I chose right. I want to be happy in life, with her. She’s most likely moved on and hates me. I’m a terrible person and I don’t deserve anyone for what I’ve done.

Any tips?😭