Oof…
Update to, guy broke up with me and abandoned during medical crisis (and while I was taking SAer ex to court btw! which bf encouraged me to do), then unblocked on social media 4 months later after seeing me well enough again that I’m driving. I ignored him when I passed him.
I’ve been living my life; made karaoke friends by singing Call Me When You’re Sober. I’d been asked to cover Evanescence for years, for my platform. Even by his cousins. I make music but got started doing covers. If you don’t know, the song is a general break up song of “make up your mind” but the title refers to a guy never actually wanting her WHEN sober, not about, get better and come back.
I loved the song but didn’t want the guy to think it was about him if I posted it. I’ve honestly been trying to date, and move on, even if my heart still lies with the jerk. Had a couple bad dates lol, but I’m out there.
I restrained myself from posting a cover due to not wanting to hurt his feelings, if he is struggling with alcohol again, liked I’d suspected but not known for sure. But after some passive aggressive stuff he posted, I asked myself: why tf am I walking on eggshells for a man who is trying to see if I’ll give him a green light, instead of texting and apologizing. I’m damn good at this song and impressed some local musicians and regular karaokers due to it, fuck it. No more eggshells. If he posts such things with no regard for if it may come across as hurtful to me, why should it matter? And if he isn’t intending that, then it’s all good, and he won’t take it personal. And, it’s been a month of unblock with no message.
Posted it and got blocked again an hour later 😂😂 He still follows my music platform tho, and probably thinks I can’t see that. Welp.
I guess he is drinking bad again, or just can’t hear me singing a cover of a break up song without being triggered. Which, is valid. It is what it is.
My friends and family love it! I’m growing in my community with the music and covers. Excited to put out more of my originals. Life has to go on. My singing it was a huge hit at multiple places in town and has accidentally gotten me connected with awesome folk. I’d gone out to get over my stage fright and came out that night with lots of people asking for my socials and asking for me to come back. I feel like that’s really important to know, if you’re reading this… I guess I’m saying, this was big for me and an opportunity. So it was between, possibly put myself out there more, and some chance of offending him, but thinking he probably wasn’t paying much attention. I chose to pursue the opportunity.
I do wish him the best if he’s struggling. If he misses me and wants to talk, he has my number. Oh and, I’m still only blocked on that one page, so he can use his other two any time he wants to view my shit lol, that’s deliberate. It’s really hard to love him. I just miss my friend atp.
My uncle died to alcoholism and I can’t go through that again but I also can’t think of getting that type of news again, and never having spoken to him again. I wish he’d just reach out. It isn’t worth all this. I’d hoped it wouldn’t be something that he took personal, that maybe he’s just out living his life and doing well enough to where he won’t even notice or care, or think is about him. I’d hoped the passive aggressive posts weren’t about me.
I could have died from the health crisis. I fought through hell to get back to him and to survive it, and he wasn’t there waiting. I didn’t even mind if I recovered and we were just friends, anymore. I didn’t want to let go. I begged my mom that, if I started actively going, that they wouldn’t deny me having him come over to watch old cartoons like we’d planned when dating. I actually lost all memory of him beyond when we were kids during the encephalopathy and he was only a fuzzy feeling. I had to go through the grief of the break up and the ghosting, twice, when the memories returned. Fuck him.