Beardo, the winner of Pahkitew Island
It was just a question I happened to ask myself, and I thought it would be fun to imagine how each contestant might have won their respective season. I’ll start with the Pahkitew cast and work my way back to the first generation. And I’ll start with the second most complicated one: Beardo
Episode 1: It doesn't make much difference to him, except that Leonard will be going in his place. For now, aside from Dave, who finds him unbearable, I guess the others don't have anything against him
Episode 2: Since Leonard isn’t there, the team sticks to Dave’s strategy, which is to send Sky last against Jasmine, while Beardo will face Rodney first. Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be enough, and Jasmine will end up winning for her team. I think Sugar will be eliminated, since she slowed the team down by refusing to give the pig to Ella.
Episode 3: Well, not much has changed here either. I guess the challenge will play out the same way. Plus, Sugar isn’t there to pop Ella’s balloons, which makes it easier for them to win. Amy is eliminated and Sammy takes her place
Episode 4: So I think the challenge will be exactly the same, except for Beardo, who will be asked the following question: “Why do you use sounds to express yourself?” Beardo hesitates a lot, but eventually answers that it’s because he’s shy. The others, especially Dave, now feel empathy for him. From now on, Beardo speaks normally and only makes noises in comical situations. His team wins the challenge and Rodney is eliminated.
Episode 5: Here too, Beardo won’t be a problem for his team; I even think he’ll manage to score a point for them. In any case, with Amy’s return, the opposing team will lose and Sammy will be eliminated.
Episode 6: I’m undecided on this one. I thought that with Sugar out, Ella wouldn’t have been eliminated, so Max would be the one to go, but it’s also possible that Chris saw on the show’s cameras that she had sung. I finally made up my mind and chose to eliminate Max, because I think Ella would be more useful going forward.
Episode 7: No one is eliminated in this episode, and I don’t think Beardo would be very useful either—he wouldn’t change the course of the challenge. However, as for the team switch, I think Chris will choose Beardo and place him on the opposing team without swapping any other contestants. Beardo is now part of the Kinosewak. A change that avoids the horrible drama between Sky and Dave
Episode 8: For this episode, I think either Jasmine or Scarlette will try to win him over. One to make him an ally, the other to manipulate him. For the challenge, I think Beardo’s team will lose because of Topher, who slows the whole team down. So it’s Topher who’s going to leave
The merger: here are the remaining contestants: Jasmine, Scarlette, Shawn, Beardo, Sky, Dave, Ella
Episode 9: For this one, I think Beardo wouldn’t have finished first, so Sky will be the winner, and since Dave won’t need to prove to her that he’s better than she is, he won’t even have started drinking. I think the person likely to be eliminated could be Dave, because he probably helped Sky from the start without playing the game, so I think he’ll be eliminated. Jasmine, Scarlette, and Beardo may have voted for him, and the others probably voted at random.
Episode 10: Nothing new here: the episode plays out as usual. Beardo joins Jasmine and Shawn’s team. Scarlette takes matters into her own hands and ends up getting eliminated. But since it’s a double-elimination episode, I guess Ella could get eliminated too, since Chris is sick of hearing her sing. It’s still an unfair elimination, but oh well.
Episode 11: This one was pretty complicated, but we can assume that Beardo is still on Jasmine’s team and therefore on Shawn’s too. The three of them could help each other out to win; even though I don’t like this ending, it’s the only solution I could come up with. Sky comes in last and ends up getting eliminated.
Episode 12: For the talent contest. Shawn’s challenge doesn’t change, but Beardo could propose an impersonation contest, which would let him win pretty easily. As for Jasmine’s challenge, she could propose a sort of obstacle course pretty similar to Sky’s. I think Beardo will come in last in this challenge, but he might make it through without Shawn’s challenge. Right now, it’s practically a tie between Shawn and Jasmine, but I’ve decided to eliminate Jasmine because I don’t think she’ll be very convincing during Beardo’s challenge
Episode 13: For the finale, Beardo can choose Sky, Shawn, and Jasmine as his allies. The challenge goes smoothly until Chris intervenes and leaks Shawn’s confessionals to Jasmine. Beardo has nothing to say since he has no connection to Sky, but Chris tells them that the guests can win if they prevent the finalists from winning. In this version, Jasmine and Sky would use the command, but not exactly as Dave does in the original version; however, he might accidentally trigger the ice cliff, which would eventually break, sending Beardo toward the finish line and making him the big winner.
Well, it was pretty complicated, and I have to admit I had to take quite a few shortcuts to get there, especially when it came to eliminating Ella and Jasmine. I also didn't dwell on the relationships between the characters, otherwise it would have been too long. I think the next one will be Dave; I already have a few ideas.