What is the experience of opening up to people?
It never worked for me; I have a certain resistance to doing it, while it seems that people, upon looking at me, automatically conclude that I'm the best listener in the world, which then makes it even harder for me to open up to them. In my head, people come to me in moments of vulnerability, and I should appear strong to them. Every time I've tried to reverse this, it has resulted in distance. People first say generic things, "That's nonsense, you should open up too; pretending to be strong all the time only pushes me away." Falling into this trap, I open up, and boom, the person starts acting strange and distancing themselves. This has happened more than three times, and with that, I'm starting to conclude that it's no longer my fault. People are truly idiots and very insensitive. It's not my fault or my insecurity if they aren't really making me feel safe.