Some questions about sex from a semi-beginner
Hi! I (24F) have been dating (25M) for about three months (not officially labeled yet, but moving towards a relationship). We moved pretty slow in the beginning and worked our way up to sex — we’ve been having sex for a little over a month now. Although I’ve had a decent amount of sexual experience, I haven’t had many PIV sexual experiences before him (only 2 in very non-meaningful contexts), and so I consider myself a beginner, and I’ve been trying to learn a lot.
That being said, there have been some questions on my mind.
I can orgasm on my own with clitoral simulation (have been just doing it manually for the past two months and avoiding the vibrator, quit porn too), and so I’ve been teaching him how to please me that way, but I’ve never orgasmed with a partner before. I’ve had a sex assault experience in the past a few years ago where a college friend’s friend was touching my vagina while I was asleep and then I woke up, which I think may have affected things and how “comfortable” I am receiving pleasure. So far, I cannot orgasm with the guy I’m seeing. He’ll be rubbing my clit and it feels amazing, but I’ve started noticing that I get randomly oversensitive and we have to stop. He’ll try again, it feels good, and then I’m oversensitive again and I need him to stop. I’m not sure why the oversensitivity happens? Is he just rubbing too directly on my clit? This doesn’t really happen to me when masturbating.
We use lube, and there was a time we used way too much, but I think we got it down now. But there will be a lot of times during sex where he’ll be thrusting and then his cock will slip out. There was a time yesterday where it came out three times. We laughed about it, but what could the reason be for this? Is it too much lube/wetness from me, him pulling out too far when thrusting, or is my body just pushing him out? It happens basically every single time we have sex. Is this normal? He’s average/a bit above average in size.
I’ve noticed the moments he orgasms when we do PIV, it’s when he’s deep inside me, and I’m holding his thigh or wrapping my body around him to push him deeper in. Based on this, what are some positions or things we can try? Things to spice things up? We only really do missionary and cowgirl so far, but I want to keep trying new things with him. I believe we both have a similar level of sex experience.