I have a crush on a guy for almost an year now I don't know what to do
Hi everyone hope you're all doing great, I was always the type of person to read this stories of people sharing their life on Reddit and strangers on internet helping them but I never thought I would be doing the same.....
Just a heads-up I'm a yapper
So about the guy, I didn't know him personally of professionally until a year ago, I met him through one of my seniors, my senior had just started working there for about 6 months when there was a event for their company and they needed some volunteers for field marketing. So our senior asked on our shared mutual group if anyone was interested in paid volunteering, I thought it was interesting and since I had literally nothing else on my hand why not do it. The first time we entered the office I liked it on the first glance it was everything a person would want on their first experience,so on the first day we didn't know we were going to get interviewed then we would go straight to volunteering. Everyone was very nervous about the interview because none of us knew what to expect but the moment I walked in the room he was the first person who caught my eyes but I didn't think too much about it I made a blunder on the interview but atleast everyone got a good laugh out of it so I don't care 💅🏼
The first day at field work was hellish, we were really nervous and didn't know how to approach anyone and we were given a target which we weren't so sure anymore we could fill up. But somehow we managed it through, the second day I was on his team and that was technically our first interaction, now lemme tell you one thing he was the most annoying prick I had ever seen, the whole time during the day we found out he was a massive smoker who couldn't breathe without cigarettes, anyways my friend and I were really annoyed at him because of his habits, the only time he voluntary came to talk to us was when he wanted to know how many spaces were left till our target filled up and to call him if we wanted anything he was like "if you need anything just tell me I'll help you" he didn't... The only help he did was giving us water every 5 min... Anyway onto our last day me and my friend that drag everywhere I'm going so I don't die alone, somehow were again in his team yikes... At this point I was furious at him because I knew he was not the type of person I wanted to deal with today..... And guess what guy's somehow that last day was the worst day possible no matter who we talked to what we told them the targets weren't filling up, and he was like "let's go one last place to try because we can't enter the office without filling our target" mathafakah what???? That wasn't in the contract... He called his supervisor and told him that were going to another location because the target wasn't fulfilled,i think somehow my senior heard that and demanded that we were brought back to office because she had told us we would be able to go home exactly at 6pm. Mind you it was almost 5:40 ish something, since he didn't have any choices he looked backed at us and told us to call anyone we know and try to finish the leads so we don't have to do any extra work at office when we head back. On the vehicle me and my friend called everyone we knew and collected a lot of numbers unfortunately we didn't complete the goal for the day but atleast something is better than nothing. After we reached the office he was told to ask us the headcount for the day mine was the lowest I still remember he looked at me as he said very disappointed in you out of everyone I didn't expect this from you. And folk that was our last meeting...
Now the story obviously doesn't end here,
After going home I kept thinking about how bad I did on the last day and couldn't get rid of this nagging feeling about it, so with all my friends who participated in the volunteering we decided we would visit the event to see if we made any impact, all of us were very nervous but to our shocked the event was so successful even the team leaders and supervisors were happy to see we decided to show our face........
I saw him again that day and honestly I was still pissed of at him because the treatment during our volunteering but I decided to be the bigger person and say sorry to him for the last day but to my surprise when he saw us he gave the biggest smile(mind you I didn't even know that workaholic man could smile let alone that big) and I lost my heart to him....
And that was the last day I saw him..
That is half truth because I thought it was the last time i was going to him. For a year I tried talking to different guys tried many technics to forget about him but somehow every guy I talked to I searched for him in them and as you can guess that conversation fizzled out between minutes sometime.
Until a year later I got the chance to see him again. I have a friend who's very good at this stuff and told me to think that guy didn't even exist and to walk into the office like I owned it, so I did what she told me when I first entered the office I was the first to arrive then other volunteers arrived (yes you guessed it they needed volunteers for their event) I'm a very talkative person even in real life so I was having a blast talking to them, when he arrived at the office we had a eye contact and then I pretended like I didn't even saw him after that I saw him a few more times before our training most of the time even if he was looking at me he would look away as soon as I would sense his eyes on me during the training session I was really excited that I avoided him the whole day and could finally go home without having to interact with him but as my luck would have it the last session of the day was our interview again.... I swear to God I stopped breathing the moment I saw him in the room with his other colleagues. I won't bore you guys with the details but guess what I embarrassed myself again this time though he was directly looking at me when I was answering the questions wrong.. but hey atleast everyone again got a good laugh out of it
On our first volunteering day I prayed the whole road that no matter what happens that I don't end up in his team.. when we reached the office bro ignored me like didn't even exist and honestly I had no problem with it as long as I wasn't at his team anything was fine by me.
This time my luck sided with me and for the whole duration of our volunteering we weren't in his team thank God. The other volunteers who were in his team however did not hold themselves back when they were saying how he was smoking the whole time and only offered them water basically the same treatment we got
Until the last day on that day unfortunately me and my friend who I'm going to keep on dragging everywhere landed on his best friends team, now I must tell you if you ever saw any series were two guys in the office were made from the same soul one introvert and one extrovert they're exactly that so we inevitably thought that I would have to interact with him probably because they are stuck to each other like glue and beads....
But ding ding ding luck was on my side and I didn't had to see his face even after we were back in the office I didn't see him I thought maybe it was his off day
After the volunteering we were offered internship there for only 10 days me and my friend said yes
But when we arrived at the office I didn't saw him for atleast 3 days, tbh I was kinda worried but I pushed my worries aside and just decided to go with the flow and focus on my work
On the fourth day I saw him It was around lunch time when I saw him I was very relieved not gonna lie, but in the evening when I was going to get myself some coffee at that exact moment I heard the receptionist informing someone that even though he had come to the office today he was still feeling sick and had to leave early.
The next day he came back to the office looking fresh and visibly better than before
I noticed something during that time that I don't know if I should phrase it as coincidence or his doing
Every time I went out of the cabin that me and my friend were in, somehow in less than 5 seconds I would see him at first I thought it was bad luck later it happened way to many times for it to be just a coincidence but who knows I'm delusional anyways
Before our last day on the office I decided to wear white solely because I didn't had the patience to get ready that day and threw on whatever was closest to me but after the lunch our like daily our senior came to ask us if we had eaten yet we said yes and thanked her, few seconds later another colleague came and opened the door for a few seconds and quickly closed as she saw we were inside, at first we thought nothing of it except that it must have been an mistake, another few seconds goes by and another colleague Opens the door after that I think almost everyone in the office "accidentally" opens our door few seconds goes by and his best friend suddenly opens our door and acts shocked to see us here and chats with us for a few moments before saying bye and leaving when he leaves my best friend says at this point only the executive is left now the words barely left her mouth and within a few mins you guessed it the executive opened our door saw us said a quick sorry and immediately closed the door. My friend looked at me as she said the only person remaining is your crush if even he opens the door I'm not coming back tomorrow I looked at her with the same look on her face and said same.
He was the last person to open our door....
At first he opened the door looked at us and quickly closed the door before opening it again this time he was like oh hi are you guys here for the internship. My friend and I were both were dumbfounded like what do you think we were doing in your office for 9 whole day man?? But we didn't say anything out loud and just nodded he said oh good luck and vanished.
It wasn't until I was clocking out that I noticed we were matching..........
During the last day I had some sports related practice in my college (oh I forgot to tell you guys this I'm in final year of my college) so decided to throw the same outfit from tomorrow because I didn't had the energy to get ready let alone pick an outfit
After college when we were going to the office I felt and sharp cramp in my stomach and immediately understood my periods just started. (It was 2 weeks early) I didn't if I wanted to laugh or cry anyway we headed back to office and few minutes in I felt my body getting hotter so I texted my senior and asked her if she had any medicine for fever and fell asleep on my desk my friend was working beside me and comforting me at the same a sudden knock on the door woke me up I looked up and saw it was my senior she passed me the medicine and told me that I should leave early or the fever was going to get worse but I couldn't leave my friend behind and make her do the whole work so I opted to stay even though my other two seniors from the office also told me to go home. After taking the pill I was better than before but I can't eat anything on my period so I chose to not eat but I was craving something sweet but I didn't know anyone that much to tell them to bring it for me so I went Alone downstairs on the way to the mart I saw him coming out of it he looked at me and looked away so fast and walked away like I didn't exist so I did the same I walked in the shop bought some sweets then headed back to the office. When we were done with our work and I was saying bye to everyone I looked for him so I could say bye to him as well because this time I truly didn't know if I was going to see him again
And it was truly the last time I saw him it has been almost a month now he's not really a social media person so I can't even stalk him properly his last post is from February.
Anyways I know some people in the comments are going to say that if I liked him I should have just told him or just confessed to him. I really want to but I probably won't because I love my senior who gave me the first real world opportunity to prove myself and she loves her job if I do something silly or embarrassing on that level it's not going to directly impact me because I can just choose not to show my face there again but she can't and I would be ruining her reputation in the office and I know how brutal gossips can be so I really don't want to be the reason she faces something like that in her workplace, the bond I have with her is really precious to me and I don't want to ruin the bond that's why I haven't even dared to send that guy a single follow.
Anyways I just wanted to vent I know Is a hopeless case thank you for reading my dilemma