Bed of roses
I have just recovered from an avoidant ex and I thought maybe a few tips might help. Anyone whose been with an avoidant has probably noticed one of the following:
They tell you, you’re the person they were looking for their entire life.
When a real problem enters about future or just life in general they try procrastinating and dodge it.
Telling you they wish they could give you the entire world and they would never love anyone the way they love you, even if seperated.
They always ask questions like, are you gonna leave me? Do you not love me anymore? Are you falling out of love? Only just to be the dumper in the end out of nowhere.
It’s quite hard to go through such a situation of dealing with an avoidant breakup but here are a few tips that helped me personally.Love itself is not enough, for a relationship to last you and the person you love need to be able to choose your partner even when things get dirty, uncomfortable and hard. Because keep in mind life and relationships isn’t a bed of roses, bad time reaches everyone.
A part of their unhealed trauma often affects the way they love and give you attention and priority, being too paranoid about that fact that if they love you too much it may affect them. So if they leave accept it, and keep telling yourself that you’re respecting the decision and focus on yourself gym, journaling, spending time with friends, enjoying life by yourself, being around family and loved ones.
Don’t think that’s it I can’t love anyone anymore it’ll be the same, your person is out there and will reach you whenever it is meant to find you.
Don’t be stuck up on I hope the avoidant regrets and someone does the same when they love that person the way I loved them, that will never get you past it. Forgive and move on.
Last but not least just because a relationship ended does not mean the idea of love was only written for novels and movies. Like I stated earlier, when the time is right it will surely find you. Don’t loose hope.
Reflecting from experience it’s not easy, gives massive anxiety and stress, makes you loose sleep and appetite, makes you question your worth. But the only way to heal properly and move on quick is forgive and not wish bad, end of the day they’re human too and will possibly regret deeply to what they did so don’t make it worse. Hope this helps whoever is in need.