Looking for advice to help a friend/ex whose been MIA after an episode
So I’m not sure if this is the right course but I need some help on this. I started seeing my friend from work for about a month or so, things were going really well and he’s a real sweetheart. We got to know each other better and he really helped me out during a difficult time in my life, I felt like I was falling fast and we were very attached. Then after one date where we had gotten a bit more intimate, he seemed very withdrawn. He explained that it wasn’t me but more of a symptom of his BPD but unfortunately I’m incredibly sensitive due to my ADHD and lack of experience so I couldn’t help but cry even though I knew there wasn’t anything wrong really, it just felt so cold and it hurt for some reason.
After he took me home, he didn’t talk to me for 2 days and then when we finally talked again, he ended things. He felt that I deserved better than him, that there’s something wrong with him and he doesn’t want to go through a cycle of disappointing me. He said that I was sweet, attentive and that he enjoyed being with me but he didn’t believe that he could be a satisfying partner to me. I was upset but also worried because he seemed very depressed and defeated,
I asked if we could still be friends and he agreed but he really didn’t continue talking with me after that. Which was fine at first, I was fine with just seeing his emails at work and knowing he was getting by but a few weeks later he wound up having an episode at work and hasn’t come back since. I’m finding out from the grapevine at work that he seemed a lot more stressed, apparently he had told our boss that he was in a budding relationship but then it didn’t work out and people said he was pretty down since. Plus the job itself is pretty toxic sometimes and I think that was getting to him.
It’s been two weeks since the episode, he hasn’t responded to anyone from work and they don’t see him coming back. I just want to know that he’s alive, I know he’s not okay but I just want to know if he’s safe. I’ve been leaving him messages, both written and recorded, just so he knows that I’ll be there whenever he needs me, I even sent a playlist of songs that usually help calm me down when I’m in a deep depression or anxiety spiral. I know I’m doing a lot over a one month relationship but he did a lot for me, and I’ve been doing my research and I know people can lose friends after these long episodes of self isolation, I just want him to know that I’m in his corner. I’m considering just sending a weekly message until I get a response or my messages turn green from being blocked because at least I know he’s alive in the end, I don’t know what else to do or what more would be helpful. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.