Testimony of leaving Shincheonji
Hi everyone,
I have been commenting here for a while now and would like to share how I left shincheonji a couple of years ago. I would like to start off with how I was recruited in. I was a non church going Christian from when I was 11 up until 23.
When I was 20 a "friend" of mine asked if I would be interested in attending a bible study. Not thinking too much about it i attended what I would later find out was bb class for my first out of 3 times. I would have to repeat it the next semester due to my bbt having left scj at the end of first semester. During my second bb class I was unable to progress to centre class again due to being unable to juggle uni and work with bb classes took a small break. I would then resume bb class for a third time before moving on to centre class in my 2nd semester of my 3rd year of uni.
I must admit at the start I thought the teaching made logical sense even after finding out that the bible study was scj from accidentally finding it was when I came across their YouTube page. I would say I wanted to believe that what we were learning was correct as in a way I didn't want to be wrong. I began pushing my family away as we were constantly taught that our family would persecute us so when my family did I did my best to tried my best to push them away. I was even doing mental gymnastics to justify the doctrine despite it making no sense. Luckily for me the first crack in my armour was when I first heard that jesus wasn't God in my intermediate exam repeat from one of the other students in centre. For me that came as a shock as I was 100% sure the whole reason why I believed in Christianity was because of the fact that I believed Jesus was God. Through my rereading of the bible I became attached to John 1:18 and found it impossible to deny that Jesus for me was my lord and saviour. As the naive centre student I went up to my gsn and told him that I couldn't shake off the fact I believed Jesus was God according to the bible. So throughout revelations class I would meet up with my gsn and despite his best efforts I couldn't change the fact that I believed Jesus was an aspect of God. I despite a couple of attempts on leaving scj I felt like I couldn't due to everything I was about to leave I would talked out of it by my leaf. So I stayed until the start of new family centre.
I had been seeing a psychologist for stress and managing my adhd. So one day while i was still in revelations class I decided to come clean to her that I thought i had joined a cult but I didn't know how to get out. She would tell me that she thought that with the stresses of uni (I was doing my final year project at that time) it would be best to leave after semester as by that stage my sister had cut me off and my parents were overseas. Unfortunately I had to cut it off prematurely as I was being asked to fill out the book of life(which I was unwilling to do) and knew I was unwilling to do so. So to the lead up to leaving scj I began going onto reddit and began giving advice to others to leave. I began a process of blocking members numbers and exclusively using telegram. I then left after week 12 of semester 1 of my 4th year of uni by deleting my telegram account and going complete radio silent.
As you can imagine the guilt of betraying both my family and my my fellow centre members (fellow fruits) lead to what would eventually become a deep depression. Throughout my time at the start of centre to the end of my depressive episode I would lose about 10-11 kilos especially when I had hit my peak of depression. It got to the point where I probably would have starved to death if I hadn't still been talking with my therapist throughout that period. I had also been reduced to somewhat of a nervous wreck. Whenever I saw scj members about when I returned to uni I would panic and head the opposite direction. It got to the point when I was approached by scj members I would cut it short and bolt out of there when they tried recruiting me.
What helped me get past the other side of my life of faith involved 5 factors. Firstly I prayed to God for forgiveness in my involvement in a cult that turned people away from God. I also continued seeing my therapist and she helped me comes to terms with what I had done was right despite all the harm I had caused. My third factor was I came clean to my parents and siblings on my involvement and while I think it still causes problems from time to time I think it has helped. I then got involved with my university's Christian Club. Through the club I was able to meet others who had been recruited and share experiences with them. I was also able to share my testimony and help others not get recruited or to get out of SCJ. Then the final part that helped was I lived in another country for 3 months which I think helped broaden the appreciation for the life I have despite the idiotic actions I had taken to do it.
Currently I have finished my degree and managed to improve my grades to a much better position compared to when I was in scj. Although I haven't found work in the field I have studied I am fortunate enough to be working. I also have joined a church and have been attending for a few months. I would like to thank all who have helped me in my journey of getting out of scj.