u/Ill_Pea5916

Guilt of depression

Has anyone here felt guilty that they are depressed?

Sometimes I do question myself if is it by choice that I am depressed 🤷‍♀️ or am I just not helping myself enough?

I even feel guilty as it seems that I am advocating for my depression to accompany me like when I go to subreddits because I think that I'm just looking for validation in an echo chamber. Am I just justifying my ways because of depression? So I find comfort in being one?

I have done bloodless self-harm multiple times and would think that erasing myself is the only option to be relieved of this loop. But then I would feel guilty because either alive or dead I will still be a burden. Guilt and shame for everything and myself, then regret for my actions and inaction for feeling these things and then guilt and shame again for being petty.

My apologies for sounding heavy. I hope everyone would get through this safely.

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u/Ill_Pea5916 — 20 hours ago

High B12 levels

Has anyone here experienced having persistently high B12 levels despite not taking any B12 supplements? This has been the case every time I have my bloods checked, like around 1000pg/ml up.

Should I be worried? My GP kept brushing it off that it is normal 🤷‍♀️ and some would say it is just because I have Crohn's 🤷‍♀️but I don't think so. I don't know if I am just paranoid because I work in healthcare, I am afraid there might be something wrong at a cellular level. I am just perpetually tired, so I am thinking that my cells don't absorb B12 hence being high in my blood. I don't know what else to do as things are just so frustrating.

reddit.com
u/Ill_Pea5916 — 2 days ago