u/Ill_Pen_5914

Is there any way out of the guilt trap? I feel like I'm dying each day drowning in guilt. I've made some heavy mistakes, hurt my family, done things I am so ashamed about. I cannot live with myself. I feel like I'm a horrible person who doesn't deserve any sort of happiness. My family is distressed seeing me like this, so it's like I'm adding to the pain. I have in general lost all the spark, I don't even feel like doing anything, I don't even feel like working. I see point of life. What's the point of it anyway? I'm 30, i know I'm an ungrateful bitch but I don't want to be grateful about anything. It's been a miserable life and I have nothing to look forward to. And I feel like no good person deserves happiness so I cannot even allow anything good to reach me. I cannot live with myself anymore, I don't know who I am, why am I this horrible.

Can I talk to someone please?

Just looking for another human who might want to listen to me right now. I feel extremely overwhelmed. I don't feel like talking to people known to me. I just, for once, want to empty my heart out to a stranger soul who'll listen without judgement.

I feel passively suicidal, felt so for years. And I genuinely find it hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel