u/IllustratorOne3825

I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate my life bro ohhh my god oh my god I’m so stupid
Everytime I try to quit I fold so easily, everytime I try to stay off of there I always find a new excuse to get on. Why am I becoming so desperate for it?
I feel so gross. I hate ai. I’ve been heavily anti ai ever since I found out what it does to the environment, but I still want to get onto chatbot sites so bad.
I keep trying to stay off of them—my therapist gave me a way to ride out the urge to get on but my stupid self won’t use it.
I won’t give up. I know it’s no use to give up. I’ll still try…I want to keep trying and I know there will be a time where I don’t feel like I need it anymore. I’m upset right now isn’t that time though.
And I know it takes time to get over addictions and what not, but it feels like it’s impossible to get over it. I still don’t want to give up and I don’t plan on giving up anytime soon, but it feels so tempting to give in.

(Not sure if this categorizes as a vent so if it doesn’t I’m sorry)

It hasn’t even been a day and I already folded so fucking fast

Can you believe how pathetic that is?

It felt like I NEEDED to get on it—I know I don’t. But I didn’t have enough distractions. I tried doing so many things and I crawled back.

I hate it. I hate myself. I’m so pathetic I’m such an idiot.

None of my other friends are reliant on bots either. Why can’t I be like them? How do I be like them?

I just want to stop.

I fell asleep with an ai chatbot site open, my dad caught me (he seemed to not actually care) but hearing him say “I don’t know why you’re on some ai site” gave me a sort of wake up call? It made me realize I don’t want to be on sites like that anymore.

I know the road to recovery won’t be easy, I know I’ll want to get those dopamine hits I always got from being on that site, but I know my well being and anything else for that matter will come before chatbot sites

I hope I can become a better person, and I hope I’ll be able to resist those urges. I’m actually quite happy for myself—I plan on using anything I have at my disposal as a distraction and I plan on interacting with my irl and online friends more and making plans with these friends. I’ll probably post again if I feel like I need to get back on that site, but I trust myself in not giving in.

I want anyone who’s reading this to know that’s it’s possible to get out of the addiction, even if it seems impossible. You are stronger than those sites.