u/Illustrious-Bus-442

I’ve been crushing on this girl for a year and two months already, and I confessed during march. She responded but she never gave a clear answer to my confession and all she said was she was interested in me back then. After all that we still became closer than ever because she still chose me as a friend, but our relationship seemed beyond that. We hung out several times—even held hands and had our faces closer than the usual friendship way too. And it hurts because this all stemmed from unrequited love because she had a situationship with another girl she deeply loved and I was there admiring her from afar knowing she knows I had a huge crush on her. I pursued her and gave her love because I kept waiting and had my hopes up but all I got was mixed signals and reminders that she doesn’t want love yet. And my heart broke when I heard her say during our hangouts that my confession was the reason she became anti-romantic. But she harbored admiration for other girls, and all I could do is wish she’d do the same for me. She’s the only girl I loved so hard and so loud even if it was unrequited and one-sided, I can’t help but compare myself how her shitty situationship was still better than our intimate friendship because I’m someone she doesn’t desire and I’m here because I chose to continue my feelings and tried my very best to put an effort to it. And it REALLY hurts to the point my yearning felt so suffocating and changed the way I am. :((