I (24F) just got out of a 10-month relationship with my ex (23M), and I feel really confused and honestly kind of hurt trying to process everything.
The relationship felt very up and down from the beginning. He didn’t even ask me to officially be his girlfriend until month 7, which already made me feel unsure about where I stood. We had a lot of arguments about social media—he was following like 20–50 girls a day on Instagram and TikTok, which made me really uncomfortable. He also had a spam account he never told me about.
Another thing that bothered me was how little time we spent together. He would go roller skating 5–6 times a week with friends and never invited me, even though I told him multiple times I wanted to go. I’d only see him about once a week (if that), and we didn’t even have consistent weekly dates until I brought it up and complained.
He would also go on “skate trips” to other states with groups of friends (both girls and guys), staying in Airbnbs, and I was never invited to those either. It made me feel really small and excluded.
Social media was another issue—he never wanted to post me unless I said something. Meanwhile, I would post him often. He said he just “didn’t think about it,” but it was something I clearly expressed mattered to me.
When it came to family, he met my mom and sister, and I was open to him meeting my dad and stepmom. But he never let me meet his mom—only his sister. He said it was because his mom is a Jehovah’s Witness and that she wouldn’t be kind to me since I’m Christian, but it still felt off to me.
Now that it’s over, I’m having a hard time moving on. I blocked him on everything, but I still get random waves of sadness every day. I feel like I spent the whole relationship focused on his potential instead of what was actually happening. Deep down, I don’t even feel like he truly liked me.
There were some good moments, but the bad definitely outweighed them, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I keep wishing he could’ve changed certain things for me, but in the end, it just felt like we were incompatible.
On top of that, whenever I tried to break up with him before, he would guilt trip me—bringing up his deceased father and even saying he might end his life, promising he’d “fix” things I didn’t like… but he never actually did.
I guess I’m just struggling with how to move on from something that feels like it meant more to me than it did to him. Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you get past it?
TL;DR: Got out of a 10-month relationship where my ex barely made time for me, hid things, and didn’t treat me like a priority. I feel like I loved his potential more than reality and now I’m struggling to move on.