Hi, I’m not too sure what flair I should use for this post so I’ve gone with expecting however it’s also more of a rant/vent and a post about my 4 year old.
Over the last month or two I’ve noticed a significant change in her behaviour, before I give more context I’d like to preface this post with the fact that nothing in her routine has changed, we do the same things we’ve done for the last four years, nap time is the same time, breakfast, lunch and dinner are all at the same time and so is her bedtime for the most part. I say that because she’s begun fighting her naps and bedtime, to the point where I can see she’s struggling majorly to stay awake, I’m not sure if it’s fomo or if she’s just being difficult but it’s affecting our day to day life a lot. I’m wondering how I’d care for a newborn and a child all at once.
Im not getting any time to myself, it makes no difference which parent takes her to her bed for her nap there’s just a bunch of arguments and back and forth from her that follow. She’s constantly hungry and demanding snacks which I’ve actually begun to refuse giving her because she’s snacking way too much. Her meals are nutritious and rarely processed.
She expects a ‘snack’ before or after each meal and for a while I allowed her a snack after breakfast and later in the day after her lunch or dinner but it’s gotten to the point that she’d eat an adults portion of food and claim she’s not full and would also like a snack after. My problem with this is I can tell she isn’t actually hungry because she takes a very long time to actually eat the snack and genuinely looks like she isn’t even enjoying it every time. If I don’t give in she screams and riots.
I’ve also began to notice she doesn’t appreciate anything we do for her, whether it be buying her new toys, colouring books, taking her to see movies or just generally indulging in her interests. She’s always complaining about something or displeased and will throw tantrums. It’s become exhausting for me to keep up with at 38 weeks pregnant, I broke down twice yesterday because I couldn’t keep up with the tantrums and the back and forth and my last straw was asking her if she needed to use the toilet before I sat down to eat to which she said no but then proceeded to need as soon as I began eating.
She also runs around none stop or twirls around or walks in circles which drives me MAD, I genuinely feel dizzy watching her and I’m constantly on edge incase she falls into the appliances around or sharp edges and corners of furniture. Lately Im having nightmares of her running and falling onto my newborn or into the moses basket essentially knocking it over and hurting my baby. I’ll ask her to stop every time I see her do it which no exaggeration is around 25 times in the day. People have also began to ask me why she does this and I have no answers for it. I suspected it was stimming or something of the sort but I have no idea myself.
I’m just tired of being needed 24/7 but also despised (what it feels like) by her. She makes nothing easy for me, everything is a battle with her and I’ve stopped being able to drop her off with my mum or sister because they’ve also said she doesn’t behave at all during her visits with them. The visit to my mums each week is my only break from parenting but I can’t expect others to want to babysit for a child who’s shouting, screaming and wreaking havoc in their home.
I’m lost on how I’m supposed to feel and what I could do to help improve her behavior I’m due to give birth any day and I’m scared to care for two children when one is being difficult 95% of the time. It seems anything I tell her or explain to her goes over her head she just stares past me blankly and nods along and proceeds to do everything I just discussed with her not to do. I’m not sure where to go from here.