u/Illustrious-Goose160

I have POTS. At first it was just when I stood up too fast, I'd sometimes pass out or temporarily lose my vision.

Well I won't even get into the other health issues because I don't know where to start, but I have so many health issues. I lost my good job in January and since then, I haven't been able to afford healthcare. Heck, I can barely afford to keep a roof over my head and already have so many medical bills sent to collections, my credit is fucked.

And in the last few months my health has been deteriorating faster and my symptoms are getting very severe and I'm scared. I have this weird exaggerated startle response in my brain. If I'm walking and change directions too fast or there are any sudden sounds or movements around me it feels like I jumped in momentary panic and shock but the sensation is only in my brain, I don't actually jump. This even happens when I'm washing dishes and the sound of when I stack the plates makes me startle. When I'm in the grocery store and come around a corner and a person is walking in front of me, I startle. When my daughter says "Mommy" too loud I startle.

I've also been having seemingly random spells of extreme light sensitivity. One time this happened while I was driving. It was a really bright sunny day but I was doing just fine until suddenly, instantly the light became unbearable to my eyes. I tried fighting to squint my eyes open so I could see, and tears poured out of my eyes excessively. Luckily it was a downtown road where traffic is suuper slow but I was forced to stop in the middle of the road until I was able to see enough to pull over into a parking lot safely. This has been happening more and more often but now I'm much more prepared with good sunglasses anytime I drive and have a plan and it hasn't happened again while driving so far.

And I feel exhausted and numb all the time. Like I'm not a real person, just watching myself continue to do things. I am so exhausted, overwhelmed, and I have a hard time caring about much of anything. I'm putting in way less effort at work than I'd usually do, I don't reply to anyone's messages, I have no will to participate. Life is feeling like an endless ongoing story of lies and pain. I'm starting to think every employer is fucked up and doesn't care about their employees' wellness. I could continue working myself past the point of exhaustion but I still couldn't even afford healthcare. What's the point when I get nowhere no matter how I try.

Even though I have this sense of carelessness I am scared of what is happening to me and how hopeless I feel. Wondering if anyone's experienced similar and if they were able to change things.

This dream happened years ago but it really stood out to me in how vivid and intense it was. I was pregnant in the third trimester and at that point the vivid dreams were less common. But this one felt so real, like it was actually happening to me.

In my dream, I was in a strange location I'd never been to before. There were endless rooms and halls and everything was made of metal. I was being endlessly chased by a man I didn't know who wanted to kill me and was trying to burn me. The dream was very long and intense with me constantly running and trying to escape, and at one point I was hiding in a big metal box but then everything around me was on fire and I woke up. When I woke up, it was like the words "Dante's Inferno" was imprinted in my mind, although I hadn't thought of that during the dream itself. Consciously, I had forgotten that this book even existed and the dream reminded me of the book. I never even read Dante's Inferno, but I did read a couple paragraphs about the book and author in school. This dream was really unique for me in the way it felt real and the way the title was imprinted in my mind as I woke up

My entire life I've had recurring dreams about being surrounded by snakes. I'm scared of snakes in real life and in my dreams I usually feel panic, dread, and pressure to stay calm and be careful when I'm surrounded by them. Sometimes I'm in a forest and they are all over the ground, and a lot of the time these dreams happen with me in a boat and snakes are everywhere in the water.

There have been some other major changes to my dreams lately but this felt the most significant to me so I won't get into the other changes.

About two weeks ago I dreamed that I was in a boat on a river like many of my dreams, and there was a child in the boat next to me but I couldn't focus on or make out their face. The child pointed into the water and I looked expecting to find snakes, but instead I saw dead fish. They were evenly spaced in a pattern throughout the water, floating belly up. When I saw them I felt surprisingly scared maybe just because it was different, but seeing it made me feel sad and scared and wonder what in the water killed them.

I'm curious to hear if anyone has had similar changes in repetitive dreams or any insight they'd like to share? I haven't had the dreams about snakes since this. And I haven't ever had a dream that featured fish before that I can remember which made this dream really stand out to me.