
Confusing Days / Part 67
What happened to Ruka and Kuri?
Did Sonoko read Mami's message?
The promised day has arrived.
---
Sooner or later, reality puts everything back in its place, releasing invisible signals that everyone must know how to take advantage of. It is there where your good or bad choice will define the course of your own destiny.
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Saturday, May 28. Karaoke, Tokyo. 06:58 p.m.
Inside room No. 7, after more than a year and a half of distance, two people were alone in the same place once again. This time it was not because of a contract, nor because of initiative, nor even because of friendship; it was simply something necessary that had to happen. An event that chance made possible and that, despite everything, the girl with the blue ribbon needed more than ever.
The lack of proximity made sharing that space together heavy, automatically creating an atmosphere of discomfort between them. Before sitting down, Ruka took control of the screen that barely illuminated them from the front and played a random audio track in the background to act as a facade for their meeting.
Taking more than half a meter of distance between seats, the nervousness only increased with each calculated and robotic movement of both. Until Ruka, exhausted by her own indecision and the stifling atmosphere of the room, suddenly lunged to break the ice. With a sudden movement, she reached for her glass of soda, took a long gulp, pulled a folder out of her backpack and threw it on the table; she had decided to start with what she had come for once and for all.
Ruka: "To hell with all this... I don't have time to waste on formalities. I know this is uncomfortable, I know I haven't been a good person to you and that I've been so wrong that I should spend hours asking for your forgiveness, but I'm sorry... that will have to wait. Now, I know it's unfair to tell you this way, right when we are here, but... are you sure you want to go this far? All of this doesn't affect you, it's my problem. I recommend you leave now; I don't want to drag you down with me. I'm asking you one last time: Are you sure about this?".
Ruka kept her gaze forward at all times during her venting, without addressing Kuri directly. The latter noticed the gesture and reaffirmed his decision even more, speaking with unshakable seriousness to a Ruka who still did not look at him.
Kuri: "Ruka... I... I won't leave. Whatever it is, I can't ignore what I saw; I can't leave you alone. I want to help you even if I can't do much, even if I can only listen to you and nothing more... that is enough for me. Let me support you this time, okay? I chose this. Whatever happens from now on will be my responsibility, you don't have to worry about me. You just let everything out; I'll be here. And if you ask me for advice, I'll give it to you. Let's forget everything that has happened between us and tell me... what has happened?".
Ruka listened to every word and, when Kuri finished speaking, she finally turned toward him. She moved closer and slid the folder slowly toward his seat; her gaze, fixed on the table, hid a pair of eyes that held back with great effort tears loaded with a mixture of feelings: helplessness, frustration, and guilt. After a deep breath, she contained any sound or crying within herself, let go of the folder and said:
Ruka: "Don't say I didn't warn you... if you open this, there is no turning back. It's your last chance to leave. But if you insist on continuing, I... uhh... I'll be grateful for that... mmm... I won't say more. Do what you want, I'll wait here to the side for anything...".
Ruka moved away, immersed in an intense internal moral dilemma between what was right and what she actually desired. She didn't want to drag anyone into her problem, but at the same time, she craved that help desperately. It was a contradictory feeling that pushed her to want to flee the room at that very moment or to stay there, holding her breath, waiting for Kuri to open that folder despite all her warnings.
Without wasting time, Kuri opened the folder and began to read. He did so before a Ruka who watched him divided between a hopeful relief and a deep guilt. After a couple of minutes of an asfixiating silence, Kuri finished reading. Without closing the folder, he addressed Ruka with a face that reflected absolute wonder, as if he found it hard to process the cruelty of what he had just seen.
Kuri: "Well... so, that was a bit... mmm... too much. I never imagined Mami would go that far... And I'd be lying if I told you I understood more than half of what I read, but... damn, I know this is very serious. Before anything else... tell me, how do you feel? How are you handling all of this? Don't hold back, let it all out".
Ruka listened; she knew that she finally had the chance to say everything and that he would listen to her, but she still couldn't articulate a single word: she was paralyzed. After several days of maximum containment so as not to worry her parents, she felt by instinct that if she opened that door, she would lose control of herself. She remained silent before a Kuri who waited a few seconds and tried another safer entry route.
Kuri: "Let's forget that for now; if you don't feel good talking about it, you don't have to say anything until you're ready... Let's see... I know, how about we start with what you've thought about doing? Tell me, what have your parents told you about all this? Surely they will know best what to do. Tell me, what do they have planned? How can I help?".
At the mention of her parents, Ruka's body tensed up suddenly. Kuri believed that going straight to the action, to the counterattack, would bring her back and allow her not to force herself to answer if she wasn't ready for it. However, he couldn't have been more wrong; without meaning to, he touched on a topic so sensitive and current for Ruka that she couldn't take it anymore. Ironically, she let everything out at once, completely losing control of herself.
In a second, the entire atmosphere turned on itself: Ruka let out a heart-wrenching scream while covering her mouth with both hands in an unconscious attempt to avoid being heard; her face distorted and tears were released violently. Kuri wanted to help her, but he stopped; he knew that, in reality, this might be what she needed. She had to empty herself and, little by little, she would calm down; he just had to wait.
Even so, a single memory invaded him and put him on high alert, a latent fear that made him doubt his actions. Just thinking about that scenario was terrifying; and yet, he decided that, despite everything, he should let Ruka finish venting. He decided to trust and waited, with a clear thought in mind: whatever it was, he must take charge for provoking this reaction.
After a couple of minutes, Ruka regained her composure a bit and remained barely sobbing while wiping her face with a napkin behind Kuri's back. For his part, Kuri sighed in relief seeing how everything had calmed down for now. Once again, the background music became the only sound left between them.
No matter how hard he made the effort to find the right words to reopen the dialogue, Kuri didn't know what to say now, and the seconds slipped away one by one without either of them speaking. Suddenly, Ruka turned back toward him and, with her gaze lowered, embarrassed and upset, broke the silence.
Ruka: "I'm sorry you saw such a pathetic scene... forget that it ever happened. I'm fine now, I don't want to talk more about it. Nothing has happened here... do you understand? Nothing. Now... mmm... the truth is that my parents don't need to know. I got into this by myself and I don't want to worry them even more with another stupidity...".
Kuri listened carefully to every word, but as each one reached his ears, his internal fire could take no more. He took his drink, stood up from his seat and, in one gulp, emptied the glass. He then spoke with unusual strength and determination.
Kuri: "I'm sorry, I know maybe I'm overstepping with what I'm going to say now, but I don't care. Hit me, insult me, do whatever you think is appropriate, but I can't stand seeing you like this anymore".
Taking a breath and gaining an instinctive energy, guided by a crude but real logic, he let everything out at once.
Kuri: "Right here and now, you, Ruka Sarashina, in front of me, a minute ago you cried with great force and pain. I am not going to forget it or ignore it. Something deep inside you knows it: you are suffering and you have to accept it once and for all. And about your parents, you know it's not right to hide this from them; it's not a simple prank, this can destroy your life. If you want to do it alone, tell me something: What the hell did you call me for? Do you see? This is absurd...".
Ruka remained in silence and without turning to look at him. After letting out all that frustration, Kuri cooled his mind, looked at her with sadness and decided he should step out for a moment. He turned toward the door and, with a guilt that was beginning to flood him, spoke.
Kuri: "I think... mmm... I'll go get some air in the hallway... I... I'm sorry".
Kuri walked to the door and opened it to leave, but before he could take a step outside, Ruka stood up and spoke again with a stronger tone than before.
Ruka: "Wait!... Please! I... mmm... I already know! I know I'm wrong, I know I shouldn't, I know you're right, but... I can't tell them. I can't do this to them, not now... but... it's just that I can't think of anything else to do with this damn accusation either... I'll tell you everything, would you let me?".
Kuri turned around, closing the door behind him. He headed to his seat and, finally, the meeting could finally begin. During the following minutes, the dialogue remained relatively stable, ending in a simple, uncomfortable but powerful primary decision that Ruka had to finalize before anything else. The rental time for the room ended and, with it, shortly after came their farewell and both took separate paths.
---
Sunday, May 29, Nanami Residence, Tokyo. 02:24 p.m.
Under the burning sun as witness, with a clear blue sky and an imperceptible air current, two girls had arrived at their destination, at their mission. They remained nervous on the sidewalk, waiting for that woman to come out to start their performance. While the wait became eternal, one of them spoke with seriousness and with a tone that instilled a sense of maternal scolding.
Sonoko: "I brought you here because I think last time we came you got along very well with Mami's mother, but... remember to shut your mouth. You saw the message I showed you yesterday; this is serious and maybe very grave. I don't want you to screw up, okay? I'll leave you alone and I'll go. You are warned, Miharu Imai; I won't repeat it".
The girl with pigtails jumped in fright at the first sentence and, upon finishing listening to her friend with dark and long hair, responded with annoyance.
Miharu: "I already know! I'm not a child, I understand this is important. You don't have to tell me every five minutes, you're a pain. That's why you don't get a boyfriend; relax a bit. You'll see that once you do, suitors will rain down on you. You have potential, but your face scares them off...".
As was custom, the girl couldn't let such a comment pass and responded with force.
Sonoko: "Huh!? At it again with the same thing? I've already told you I'm not interested in that now; first I'll graduate and get a job. I don't need distractions. When I think it's necessary, I'll look for someone; stop pushing. By the way, how's it going after the rejection this month with that 'guy' from the football club, huh?".
The blow went straight to the girl's open wound and her face began to turn red. Just when she was about to respond, the door of the house opened in front of them.
Mio: "Imai-san and Shimae-san, it's a pleasure to see you here, but... right now Mami isn't in. She went out... she left with her father on a business trip. Her cell phone... it broke and... well, it doesn't matter. Well, now, tell me what it is you need and I will tell her... mmm... tonight when we speak from the hotel. I'm listening".
Both girls noticed the strangeness of her words and, more than anything, her tone between each phrase; the text of the message gained more strength and also urgency. Faced with this, Miharu lunged first to persuade the mother of her university classmate.
Miharu: "Oh! Really? Good thing, I thought she might be very sick. It's a relief but, well, how to say it... Mami... she cited us here a week ago and, well, we were going to have... a girls' sleepover, you know, hahaha, to... mmm... strengthen affective bonds and more with what...".
Sonoko stopped her by raising her hand, blocking her face so she would stop talking, and began to speak herself.
Sonoko: "Don't talk anymore; you're overwhelming her with that usual intensity of yours. What's the use of all that if Mami isn't here? It doesn't matter, now I'll continue... Well... well, besides everything she said, Mami strictly entrusted us with returning some books she borrowed from a professor... just that. Let us go up and look for them quickly; Mami will be very upset if she finds out the professor had to come all the way here for them. Why take this further? What do you think? Give us ten minutes and we won't bother you anymore for today".
Mio's face turned pale at the mention of the professor. The idea of a teacher asking questions about her daughter that she wouldn't know how to answer filled her with anxiety. Trapped between two risky paths, she decided to go with the less dangerous option.
Mio: "Some books... I understand. Mmmm... I think you're right, Shimae-san. It wouldn't be correct... it would be rude to make him come all the way here when... Well, it's fine... I'll let you pass, but I'm sorry, you must hurry; I have to go out... uh... to the supermarket to prepare dinner. Yes, that... I can't be late or they will run out of... it doesn't matter. Go in right now, I'll guide you to her room so you finish before I leave".
During the university years by Mami's side, neither of the two girls had even crossed the threshold of her house; they had never been invited inside, so seeing its interior was quite an experience.
Upon entering, they were greeted by the coldness of a perfect air conditioning, an indoor fountain of minimalist style, abstract art paintings and a spacious living room on a fine wood floor, inches from an internal garden behind a large window. With eyes wide open, they walked automatically following Mio through the residence until going up to the second floor and stopping in front of an impeccable white door.
Mio: "It's here... please, the bookshelf is next to her bed, it's small; I don't think it will take you long to find those books. I'll go quickly to get ready and come back to... well, leave. And, if you don't mind, could you leave the door open? Mmm... it's just in case you need anything, you shout and I can hear you well, plus well, I also think it doesn't hurt to have a bit of fresh air... Well, that's all, I'll leave you. I'll be right back".
After some quick thanks, Mio disappeared from the two girls' sight and the intensive search began. Just as that unknown message said, each instruction was precise and they ended up finding, without problem, the objective of their search.
Quickly, they left the contents on the floor and began to put everything back in its original position. However, the open door betrayed their heavy movements and, without knowing it, just as they were finishing rearranging everything, Mio appeared in the doorway.
Mio observed the scene, noticed the familiar name on the folder and fell silent. For their part, noticing her presence, the university students were instantly paralyzed. Time froze for the three women; none could say anything and everything became uncomfortable, turning that visit into something much darker.
---
Three and a half hours later, near dusk, in a Tokyo apartment, a girl with black hair and blue streaks was spinning in her favorite chair while throwing, over and over, a magical girl themed pillow. Tired, she stopped and looked at her cell phone; observing the time, she turned off the screen and thought out loud.
Mini: "Ahhh... Has the Mastah arrived home yet? I hope it goes well for him in that family meeting and he manages to make peace with them; it would be one less burden he has to deal with...".
Her gaze fell on a gift bag she had hanging on a coat rack and she continued.
Mini: "I hope what I bought he likes; it was hard to decide between so many things I found... But seriously, how unfair! Why did all this happen? It was my first official birthday with him, it should have been an event full of joy and romance but... Ahhh, it doesn't matter, things are this way and we have to adjust as we go, right?".
With a jump, she got up from the chair and continued with her errands. Starting to reorganize everything, she put her figures on the bed and piled her mangas and video games on a table; then she put on a face mask, gloves and took a rag with cleaner. The time to clean had arrived.
Almost a minute after starting, when the time came to disconnect her equipment and screen to clean them too, her hand hesitated before pulling the cable and, for an instant, her mind went blank. In the end, she composed herself and began to disconnect everything, talking to herself again.
Mini: "How I hate cleaning, but now that I can't make videos well... I think it was fair and necessary... hahaha... ahh, how depressing all this is... No, Mini! Drop that, we have to keep moving forward despite everything. Yes, that's right!... or so I wish, ahhhh...".
In that instant, she remembered the chat with Chizuru and continued wandering.
Mini: "I hope Chizuru is doing better than me. My luck has been terrible these days, or rather, I was very stupid; I brought it on myself by bringing Ruka without thinking, hahaha... Ahhh, seriously, how did I not see it coming? It's not even worth complaining anymore; in the end I think I fixed it as best I could, although at what cost? Mmmm, anyway, let's forget that. Come on, Chizuru, you can do it!".
With her arm raised to the sky as a show of her unconditional support, she looked at the ceiling and noticed that the light illuminating her was starting to flicker. Surprised, she lowered her arm and released one last declaration to the wind.
Mini: "Damn it! That's why the rent here was so cheap... If I count all the details, I think I was scammed... Maybe my luck had already been bad for a long time...".
Submerged in a cycle of negativism, she sighed deeply and changed her attitude in an instant.
Mini: "Fine! I have to go for a replacement. No more outdated energy-saving bulbs; it's time to put in a LED one. Mmm... maybe I should buy several to avoid unforeseen events... Nah, I don't have money to spare. Come on, Mini Yaemori has a mission to fulfill! To the mall! It's either that or going back to arranging everything in the dark... although I could use the bathroom light, right? No! What are you saying? It won't take long, it's better this way. Now, where did I leave my keys? Ahhh...".
---
Just as Mini took a step out of her apartment, at the same time, but a few kilometers away, another girl came out smiling from the automatic doors of a clothing store. It was Sumi, who had just bought her gift for Kazuya and was returning toward the hospital. There, her sister was waiting for her covering her place, chatting in a cheerful and casual way with her father while they awaited her return.
While she waited for the arrival of the application taxi, she checked her gift bag again, looking at every detail to confirm she hadn't forgotten anything. Verifying that everything was in order, she thought:
Sumi: "I hope he likes what I bought for him. Last year it was a beanie; I thought maybe a shirt would be a good idea this time, but for some reason I decided instead on this very cute t-shirt of a goldfish. I think it will be better, yes... maybe that way he'll remember something about me... Although, truthfully, as long as he likes it I'm happy. If I can give him at least a bit of happiness now, after how bad life has treated him, I'll be more than satisfied...".
But that wasn't all. She remembered her two friends and how she had noticed them acting strange, so she continued reflecting:
Sumi: "Chizuru and Mini... when I found out about the birthday, I completely forgot to ask them if they had something making them put those faces of concern. I got too carried away... I just hope it's nothing serious; I don't want them to suffer more. Both are closer to Kazuya than I am, they saw him almost all the time... Everything that is happening is horrible. Just... please, destiny, give them a break...".
Finally, the taxi arrived and Sumi entered cautiously, setting off toward the family warmth that awaited her. And, almost as if it were a joke, a woman was getting out of another taxi and entering through the main door of the hospital Sumi was heading to with a watchful gaze.
Kiyomi: "Miharu... who the hell are you visiting? Why are you hiding it from me? I hope you have a very good explanation...".
---
In another place, another meeting was about to happen, where a family waited anxiously for the arrival of that amnesiac boy. Their bodies and minds fought in an internal chaos between the excitement of seeing him again and a selfish desire to distance him from the hell they themselves were about to reveal to him.
While the moment of their reunion approached, each member of the Kinoshita family suffered in silence on a roller coaster of mixed feelings.
A few streets from there, Kazuya walked with a firm step, but with a stress that increased with each street he left behind and that brought him closer and closer to his destination.
There was no turning back; he couldn't stand them up. He had to be responsible for his own words if he wanted to be taken seriously as an adult and, even so, his closed fists betrayed that he was forcing himself to continue. All that remained was to cross the avenue and turn at the corner of the next street to see his complete family again.
Stopped only by the red light of a semaphore, his impatience shot up. But, automatically, he began to breathe to regain some tranquility. Making use of a couple of motivational phrases he had found earlier on the way, he managed to release some of the tension accumulated since he began his trip outside the train. He took advantage of those seconds of waiting he still had to think a bit about what was to come and beyond.
Kazuya: "Ahhh... Finally the time has come. I hope I can stay firm and calm with Grandma; I don't want to fight anymore, but I don't want her to force me to do anything either. I love her very much, but this has to stop... And well, I don't know if I should ask them about Mami... I don't know if they know anything about her whereabouts; I don't think so but, I don't know what else to do... Where are you, Mami-chan?".
He directed his gaze to the remaining time indicator, where the descending numbers made him tense up again. As a way not to think about it, he closed his eyes and continued with the missing pending tasks.
Kazuya: Right... I still have much more to do. I have to talk to Kibe and Kuri; I also must thank that girl, Sakurasawa-san, for her words on the radio. Go all that way around there with Yaemori-san and try to remember and, of course... Ichinose-san. I must apologize for my rudeness. Ahhh, there is so much to resolve... Will I have enough energy or the courage to do it? I can't know, but well, one thing at a time... let's go calm, slow but sure...
His mind suffered an information and anxiety overload after the union of the stress for the meeting and his future tasks, leaving him completely vulnerable to an uncontrolled invasion of surreal fantasies. Without being able to avoid it, he began to imagine multiple fateful scenes in high resolution.
In one of them, he arrived running to a park after having been cited by Mami, who received him with a smile. Just after, she bowed in front of him, apologizing for having forgotten to notify him sooner, but justifying that everything had been so fast that she had lost track of time.
Confused and without knowing what to say, he observed how a boy arrived jogging suddenly behind Mami, stopped and gave her a rose. With a smile he had never seen, she accepted with joy and, turning back to him, exclaimed that she had finally found her soulmate; this boy by her side being the only one who had managed to steal her heart like never before.
Without letting him speak, she explained that she had been a fool to get carried away by the happiness she was living and forget to answer his messages. After apologizing once more, wishing him to recover and be happy, she and her new boyfriend moved away from his sight, leaving him alone.
In another scenario, upon opening the door of his house, he found no one; and, without seeing it coming, he was struck from behind by an infuriated grandmother, falling into unconsciousness. Upon waking up, he saw himself tied by both hands to the railing of the backyard patio. Sitting in her armchair, his grandmother looked at him fixedly with pure and deep disappointment. Behind her, he could see his parents standing at her sides; they did nothing more than be there, contemplating his humiliation in silence.
Next, his grandmother began to attack and scold him without any mercy. Upon trying to respond, he noticed a cruel and dark detail: he had tape on his mouth that wouldn't let him say anything. He could barely breathe, but his grandmother continued without stopping until she finally finished her monologue and sentenced: "You're not going to escape again. You will be educated and, when you finally learn the lesson, you will go back to sleeping in your bed; that one you despised, just as you did with our honorable family surname." After that, everyone moved away, leaving him alone once more.
This time, it was the turn of Mini, who accompanied him again in another "Tour of memories: Part 2", ending the day once again without any change. Upon arriving at the train station, Mini stopped and turned to face him. With an exhausted face, she sighed with weariness and said to him, with deep disappointment and annoyance: "You are a complete pain in the ass."
She explained in detail how she was already fed up with having to act as a tour guide without seeing any progress on his part; his slowness was a nuisance. She reproached him that she had so many things to do in her own life and that he took away her chance to be productive, feeling that all that effort had been in vain and a total waste of time.
Without even letting him respond, she said goodbye wishing him luck with his recovery, but clarifying that he would have to remember everything on his own, as she was fed up with waiting for him. And so, she walked away until she disappeared from his sight.
Despite the fact that hours seemed to have passed, in reality not even ten seconds had elapsed in real time; and yet, despite such scenarios, his mind did not stop, and one last scene began to form.
Finally, without knowing how, when or why, Chizuru's image appeared in front of him. Just as Mami had done before, she bowed; but this time it wasn't an apology, it was something much more painful: a thank you.
She told him that he had helped her see everything more clearly after those words he threw at her before leaving. He was right: she wasn't being honest with herself and, in reality, everything was simpler than she thought; she was simply obsessed with him by feeling guilty for his accident. Once she understood it, she was able to forgive herself and finally heal.
With that new mental clarity, she felt liberated. After overcoming the disaster of her controversy and reflecting on it deeply, she knew it: she had found true love in the man who was always by her side in difficult moments, the one who fought with strength to clear her honor. It was him; it had always been him.
Out of nowhere, a sports car appeared. The glass of the front door lowered and a voice called out loudly in her direction:
"Chizuru-chan, let's go! We're running late. I completely booked that restaurant you liked so much; we have to go now."
Chizuru nodded and said goodbye to him with a smile, then ran to the car and got in, disappearing at full speed.
All this was an infernal hammering that seemed to dilate the space of a few seconds into hours of critical blows. However, the sound of the semaphore's light change saved him; managing to make him react and return to his reality.
And after an internal scream that became external and frightened the people around him, he freed himself and crossed the avenue. He reached the end of the street and turned, remaining completely paralyzed and confused by what his eyes were seeing.
In front of his house, Chizuru was waiting for him and, as soon as she noticed his presence, she set out decisively in his direction to intercept him. His world lost all logic, and hers lost all doubt. A reunion had been successfully finalized.