u/Illustrious-List7263

جان اكو صب خاص للجم مال عراقيين الي يعرفه ياريت يشاركه

سألت عن موضوع يخص علاقة مريت بيها وشخص غريب كلي انت تعاني من تنافر معرفي
شنو قصده بهلشي؟ واذا احد يعرف بهاي السوالف وتفاصيل علم النفس ياريت يكول لأن عندي هواي امور اسأل بيها

شخص غريب كلي انت تعاني من تنافر معرفي؟
احد يعرف بالتفاصيل علم النفس وغيرها لأن اكو هواي امور اريد اسأل بيها

From day one, I knew it was destined to fail. I can’t explain why, but I’ve always had a clear intuition about who she really was. What kept me going was a rare, deep intellectual compatibility that overshadowed all the red flags.
Over time, our (M/24 & 21/F) relationship became incredibly toxic. I realized I had "created a lie" and chose to believe it; I lived that lie as if it were real, and she seemed genuinely convinced of my love. Looking back, it wasn’t true love as much as it was an addiction—an addiction to the mental stimulation and the shared intellectual frequency we had.
Since the breakup, I hadn't thought about her for a while. But lately, I’ve been hit with a wave of intense disgust and repulsion. I find myself asking: "How did I let someone like her get so close to me?"
She is someone with absolutely no boundaries—someone who finds it normal to have sexual relations with "friends." In our final encounter, she even suggested we become "Friends with Benefits (FWB)." She claimed she still "loved and wanted me" but had "lost passion for commitment and was tired of relationships." I felt sickened by the proposal and rejected it instantly, even though many might have seen it as an "opportunity."
Why am I feeling this intense disgust now, even though I knew her nature from the start? It’s as if my rational mind has finally caught up with my past actions, and the gap between my values and my history is agonizing.
I feel a sense of "degraded self-worth." I feel ashamed for having invested my emotions—even if they weren't entirely sincere—in someone whose values and lifestyle I fundamentally despise.
How can someone crave intellectual depth while being so behaviorally shallow? And have any of you (M/F/NB) experienced this feeling of "repulsion" after dating someone you knew was beneath your personal standards from the beginning?
TL;DR: I (M/24) stayed in a toxic relationship with a woman (21/F) despite knowing her lack of boundaries, solely because of an intense intellectual bond. Now that it’s over, I feel a deep sense of self-loathing and disgust for "lowering" my standards for someone I fundamentally don't respect.