What would you do?
Hello Reddit!
So I never ranted about this with anyone whom I know because I am anxious that it might seem that I am very sensitive or I might just bother them knowing some of them have their own problems already.
I am a 15y/o kid who grew up with "kind" parents, or that's what others would think. I don't have a dad but my mom and I live with my relatives (asian shenenigans lol).
I used to be spoiled; I rarely help with chores or never thought about being better as a boy.
However, as I grew up; I tried to be better. Helping my family with everything, listening to them, never talked back, does whatever they want just so they would give me a break and stop asking for more. I kinda began to be a people pleaser because of them and was very scared about what would they say if I am not proper or if I fucked up for a bit. My parents/relatives are a bit perfectionist, they would expect me to lose weight and say harsh things like I shouldn't really step in a relationship or something and instead purchase a bra for my manboobs or something; I know I'm overweight tho I am trying my best to lose weight. Like I said, I was spoiled and rarely helped with chores, they expected me to wake up very early and help them; And so I did, I started using alarms, going for walks as they demand, and helping them with whatever they're doing. They criticize me for choosing my hairstyle, the way I bring myself and the way I act. I always give my best at changing but I feel like I was never enough, like I never did anything right. They always back stab me and are not holding back at yelling or making me look pathetic even with guests or their friends or my friends. They didn't fail at making it seem like I am a failure. A failure at academics, as a son, a boy, a brother, and a failure to meet their expectations. I feel like I never did anything right, I felt like I have no one, I feel like they see me as the punching bag knowing I'm just a kid and haven't done anything with life. I always try to be better but all I get is back stabbing by my own family, front stabbing even.
What would you do in my situation? Not planning on suicide in anytime soon, I will only prove that I am indeed a burden