I’ve been in an online affair situation with a man for just shy of two years. We had immediate chemistry and I fell for him pretty quickly. The connection we have is very special and intense (I know it sounds super cliche). However, there have been lots of fits and starts due to some misgivings on his end (both some level of guilt and a bad breakup; the breakup and aftermath have seemingly been the bigger obstacle). Over time, though, the connection remained and the attraction that had been bubbling below the surface came back into the open. We have talked about meeting up for the last several months, but opportunities are rare because we live in different cities (driveable) and due to work and family schedules, and although I’ve suggested a few opportunities (and there was one time that it almost happened), it has not worked out yet.
Recently, when we’ve chatted, I’ve tried to, without being pushy, just talk about what we will do when we meet up and assume it’s a given, and the sexting has been pretty consistent and gotten more intense over time. And like he’s been slowly moving past the ex and toward meeting me. But there has recently been a big story about an affair all over the news, and he said it was like a kick in the balls. I know he doesn’t feel good about this right now.
So, my question to you all: does a reality check like this (and there was a previous reality check very early on that he moved past), after a couple of years of connection mean he’s done, or is it something that he can get over again. We’ve only been “physical” online, and we both know being physical irl will lead to more intense feelings. He’s also never said to me “I love my wife and I want to fix my relationship with her” or anything at all like that. I think it’s more he doesn’t want to get caught and blow up his life.
And yes, I’m going to talk to him about it; I just want to get an idea of how others would react or if you’ve experienced anything similar.