In some kind of “ship” with someone
What would you do if someone you’ve been talking to for about four months keeps lying to you?
I know we’re not officially in a relationship, but we’re definitely past the “talking stage.” He said we’re “taking things slow,” though I’m not even sure what that really means.
The last time we hung out, I saw a message pop up from another girl on his phone. He quickly swiped it away, so I asked who it was. He said it was a coworker. But before, he told me he doesn’t really talk to his coworkers, which made me question what he was saying. Then he changed his story and said it was just a coworker he occasionally contacts when they need him to cover shifts. While this was happening, I could clearly see the panic in his eyes, and it left me feeling really confused.
At that moment, I didn’t know how to feel. I felt like he might have been lying from the beginning, but at the same time, I didn’t feel like I had the right to be upset since we’re not in a relationship. So I just brushed it off and tried to convince myself that “out of sight, out of mind” was the best way to deal with it.
For context, I do like him, but I started noticing him pulling away and constantly emphasizing that we’re still in the talking stage and that we can talk to other people. That doesn’t really make sense to me, because if I already like someone, I don’t feel the need to talk to anyone else. Because of what he said, I started suspecting he might be talking to other people too, which led to frequent arguments whenever I brought it up. Eventually, I started letting things slide because my feelings became more mixed.
It feels like I like him, but I don’t really like his personality or how he treats situations. I prefer someone who is caring, sweet, and consistent, and he doesn’t really show those traits. Still, I found myself wanting to be with him, maybe because I enjoyed the attention.
It eventually got to a point where I blocked him because I felt like he was starting to treat me poorly. We didn’t talk for about a month, and during that time I realized I might not have actually liked him as much as I thought—I was just attached to the idea of him. I unblocked him without any negative feelings, and he immediately started messaging me again, saying I misunderstood everything.
But then I saw that message from another woman, and it felt like the same cycle starting all over again. This time, I’m not really hurt or sad—more disappointed than anything.
I feel like I could have genuinely liked him if he had been honest from the beginning. But because there was dishonesty early on, I put my guard up and tried not to get emotionally invested. I want to let him go, but I don’t understand why I still feel attached. Maybe it’s because I feel like he can’t really hurt me deeply anymore since my feelings aren’t that strong, but at the same time, I don’t want to let anyone walk over me.
I’m stuck between blocking him and moving on, or keeping him unblocked and dealing with the messages. If I block him, it feels like I’m letting him “win” or giving him the idea that he got to me. But if I don’t block him, I know he’ll probably keep reaching out. I just don’t know what the right thing to do is.