u/Illustrious-Taro-928

I am 21 years old and a first-time mother. Before the incident on April 24th, my ex partner and I had ongoing arguments about unequal responsibilities in the home and childcare. I was primarily responsible for caring for our baby, cleaning, laundry, and most household tasks, while also struggling with postpartum mental health challenges, including BPD, autism, ADHD, depression, and anxiety.

He would come home from work and play on his phone all night or Xbox and I understand him being tired from work but he also got every weekend off and never put in the time or effort to help then either.

On April 24th, after returning home from a good day together, his mom confronted me about bottles not being cleaned. I felt overwhelmed because cleaning the bottles was one of the few tasks my ex had agreed to help with, and it had not been getting done consistently. During the confrontation, my ex did not step in, and I became emotionally overwhelmed and left the house for a few hours to calm down.

When I returned, I saw the bottles had been cleaned improperly despite him knowing how to clean them correctly. I became triggered and emotionally dysregulated, and during the argument I made threatening and vile statements toward myself and him. I understand that this was wrong and unacceptable, and I take responsibility for my actions. When I get angry like that my words just come out of my mouth without me thinking first

Police were called, we talked for an hour before they decided it was best I be removed and taken to the hospital, I was removed from the home, and shortly afterward the relationship ended over text.

I have been to a psychiatrist. I went to the hospital the day after the fight, I Just didn’t go right away because I didn’t want to be in a high strung mood in a hospital all by myself so I went to my friend’s house and calm downed for the night and then I went the next day. I have therapy appointments. My one is not until June as well, so I’m stuck sitting for a month not being able to do nothing except for take my meds that I’ve been given.

He wasn’t initially going to press charges on me when the fight happened and only had a EPO against me but last week I got a call from the RCMP that he’s pressing charges on me and I got a bunch of paper papers saying that I have a court date and stuff like that for that stuff.

Since then, I have not seen my daughter and currently cannot have contact until June due to the court order. This separation has been extremely painful for me.

I also have a lawyer I’m working with. I’m in Canada so our law system is a little different than the states.

I’m also finding out from mutual friends that he’s leaving our daughter at home with his mom who has primary care of her already all day while he’s at work at the moment since I don’t have her, to go get drunk with his friends and meet up with new girls already almost every weekend night since it’s happened.

I’m just at a loss for words and this is something I thought would never happen.

Now he is telling everyone that I’m the one who just went crazy out of nowhere and completely snapped on him even though I have talked to him multiple times before in non-argumentative ways, they eventually did build up to arguments though, because I was building up resentment towards him, not helping me out in any way possible. I came so close multiple times to just stop asking for help because it was more of a chore to ask for help than to just do it myself.

I really don’t know what to do.

Also I was very obsessive on marking her diapers naps and feedings and two days after we broke up, he stopped marking everything completely as well too, so he’s not even tracking anything on our app as well, which frustrates me a lot.