I feel like my body as a man is not going to repair or cannot repair itself.
PRETTY LONG POST!
Hello guys, i need help/advice(/se) on this topic.
So I am 22 yrs old. Been hooked on pmo since 15, so that’s 6-7yrs of constant pmo, give or take. I did retain for 2 months(60days) last year during fall. But it was not clean, so my energy was off. I was actually giving off creepy vibes, aka i was not mentally celibate and was thinking of s*x constantly.
I have not really experienced any benefits like female attraction and all. Or maybe it’s cause i am autistic lol. The benefits I have experienced is clear glowing skin(almost, not fully), equal eye size(my right eye is smaller), and greater energy(less sleep required). These benefits were on another streak before the 60 days one. This one js around 30-42 days.
There is that, the whole background scenario or recaps if you will.
Now present timeline(lmao),
3 days ago, i was on a small streak, around 4 days. I was unintentionally on a clean streak. Was not thinking about sex much, i was actually unintentionally mentally celibate. I could feel my testosterone rising or my ar responding well. Higher energy, motivation to work, and just better mood overall.
But then ofc i relapsed. For two days. And then again retained for 2 days, this time with intentional metal celibacy, and trying to come as clean as possible. But surprisingly, it was a much less soothing/serene experience. Low libido, not much energy at work.
Just a less enlightened experience overall. I feel like i have tanked my T levels, confidence and everything. I feel like my body is beyond repair. Idk what to do.
Oh also, i am a virgin, never had a first kiss or anything. I fein for a sex, or just a connection with another human being overall. But then again i just list and sexualize ir fantasize every woman i see on the street like a starved predator looking for its prey. Only that this predator is a beggar. And as we know, beggars cannot be choosers.
I also have low libido, been a long time since i have morning wood.
I am also Autistic. Idk my brethren, shi just seems to done for.
Truly depressing and mind bending(in a bad way).