Postpartum rant
I feel stupid even typing this out, but I need to vent somewhere.
I’m 2.5 months postpartum, severely sleep deprived, pumping around the clock, trying to figure out breastfeeding, healing physically and mentally, and taking care of a newborn basically all day. My mom is here helping me, thank God, but she leaves at the end of this month and I’m already anxious about how I’ll manage alone.
Today I was ranting about how hard this phase is. Not because I regret my baby — I absolutely love my baby and love being a mom — but because this is HARD. I thought I was allowed to say that out loud.
My husband’s response was: “If you can’t do all this and if this is hard, why have a baby?”
That comment honestly crushed me.
To be fair, he does appreciate me sometimes and when he’s in a good mood he can be supportive. I don’t think he’s a bad person, and part of me honestly wonders if some of this comes from guilt that he hasn’t been able to contribute much because of his work schedule. Sometimes it feels like instead of acknowledging that guilt or my exhaustion, he gets defensive or dismissive.
But what hurts most is that when conversations get emotional or difficult, he shuts down completely. Today he literally said he “can’t listen to all this” and walked out of the house mid-conversation. And honestly, that’s something he does often when he gets frustrated.
Meanwhile I’m left sitting there postpartum, exhausted, hormonal, overwhelmed, and feeling completely alone.
Whenever I talk about how exhausting pumping is, he just says “then give formula.” But what I’m really looking for in those moments isn’t solutions — it’s comfort. Reassurance. Maybe even small acts of help when he can, like washing pump parts while I’m feeding the baby instead of scrolling on his phone.
Mother’s Day passed. My birthday passed postpartum. Both were basically just acknowledged with a quick wish. No celebration, no thoughtfulness, no feeling appreciated. And honestly, it hurts because I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much physically and emotionally these past few months.
I’m not asking for perfection or grand gestures. I just want consistency in kindness. Encouragement. To feel seen and emotionally safe during one of the hardest seasons of my life.
The workload itself is hard, but feeling emotionally unsupported while doing it is what’s breaking me.
Has anyone else experienced this postpartum? How did you navigate it without growing resentful?