What the hell do I do?
Everybody has turned on me because I was flawed ad vulnerable. My family my neighbors random people in the city. You can't tell anyone cause they are going to gaslight you. And I was such a timid and gentle child I was sinless then and I still got abused so it's not just my fault. I am like a magnet for abusers.
I am telling you they are so many people that are worse than me, more rude, selfish, unkempt whatever but they are forgiven. The ones that joined a larger group of flawed people and play the game are absolved of their sins
Just one example my father kept a dog inside so it went to the toiled on the balcony with piss and shit everywhere, he literally picked up shit with his bare hands. Went on for years. Told me I should kill myself and drove my poor mother to suicide. And yet I got insulted by him and my stepmother because I had a bad time during my breakdown and I am still being called disgusting years later.
People are fucking gross this earth and this city is a sewer, it's hell. I am not religious but I wish there was a God because only a higher force can make this stuff right. Everybody would be in big trouble including myself.
And the MeNtAl HeAlth workers, bunch of vultures. I have witnessed firsthand them talking about patient financial assets, openly laundering money, talking shit and holding grudges against mentally ill people, and obviously employing their family, friends and whores and on top of that they do fuck all.
I have been cast out based on prejudice and assumptions.
I have been told I should kill myself because apparently I made a embarrassment of myself. I swear the beauty in this world can be experienced in everything but in fellow human beings. Literal animals are better even the vilified ones . If anything I should kill off hope of other people having a crumb of decency and go full on selfish. life is beautiful and I have so much more to give than most of these bastards.