A lot of narcissistic people end up relying on religion to essentially save them from complete collapse and chaos. It is pathetic and delusional but it works. I get anxiety thinking about if or when that will happen to me. When I will completely succumb to the psychotic elements of this disorder. If I haven't already.
I struggle with intense anxiety. I don't always remember feeling this way. Not when I was young. But beginning in late adolescence anxiety became a very big part of my life and it has only worsened. I actually believe that since my "revelations" about myself my anxiety has steadily increased. To the point now where I am beginning to be paranoid. And that isn't a road I want to go down. I feel like my personalities are like a roladex. I can't stick to one and I feel compelled to constantly switch it up and obviously this is problematic. People notice and wonder wtf is wrong with me. I am not on medication right now and am struggling to manage. Any tips?
I'm fucked up right now over something at work. There was a notice that has been up for months, MONTHS, in the SAME SPOT and which I pass every day and I did not notice it until today when someone POINTED IT OUT TO me.
I felt like I had gone insane. There's no way, no way this notice was right in front of me this entire time and I didn't notice. There's no fucking way that that is possible. It is not as though it is surrounded by other crap which might obfuscate it (I have no idea if I used that word correctly) There's no way that my anxiety is THAT bad that I would miss something so fucking obvious to any normal human. No. Because WTAF. How, HOW on God's green fucking earth can I trust my brain with ANYTHING when it is capable of being so blind to things which are right fucking in front it?
It should be said that I am running on no sleep and I am probably going to word this poorly but I want to get this out.
I've seen this pattern many times. Most notably amongst celebrities. It often takes the form of older more "vulnerable" narcissistic men and younger seemingly mature and stable women who become involved with them. The woman takes on the role of a savior figure. You know, the saint who pulls the alcoholic bankrupt movie star out of the abyss. I keep seeing this pattern over and over and I wanted to discuss it.
On the surface these women are saints but there is obviously something deeply flawed about them psychologically. They are not volatile and emotionally labile like your typical borderlines. They're mature. Perhaps far more mature than they ought to be given their age. And for reasons which are beyond comprehension they end up with much older washed up narcissistic men. They view them as a project. Something to be fixed. Something to be saved. And the narcissist, who is essentially a child, is glad to have a partner like this. He derives supply from having a (usually) younger partner and he gets to be vulnerable. He gets to be a child.
And these couples usually seem pretty happy and they seem to last long term.
I've never seen this dynamic in reverse.
Where a man "saves" a narcissistic woman and takes on a LONG TERM paternal role in the relationship. Usually these unions (man tries saving woman) results in short lived relationships and the woman (usually) discarding the man.
Why don't narcissistic women want or allow themselves to be saved? Are men just inherently more child like in that regard that they benefit more from a maternal partner?
I think for older vulnerable narcissistic men this is the best "ending" they could get. A woman who picks them up and brushes them off and cares for them like a child. How would you describe this type of woman? What would the reverse look like (where man saves woman)?
Idk what I'm saying but I hope you do.
We all know the downsides. They are spoken of at length here. But what are the benefits of possessing these character traits? How can us lowly cluster b's move through life in a way that is productive for ourselves without trying to mold ourselves into people we simply cannot be? How do we move forward as square pegs in a world with round holes? I am using "cluster b" instead of narcissism because of the extreme amount of overlap between all of the disorders.