u/Iloveemiilk

I grew up completely brainwashed in an ultra Conservative Christian household. I have multiple family members who are big names in Republican politics. I was severely abused growing up, homeschooled, most everyone in my family was deeply misogynistic. Embarrassingly, I identified as a Conservative for a lot of my adult life, and I’m kind of unpacking that it’s because I learned that the only time I got any type of positive attention growing up was when I pretended to care about politics and parroted back all of my family’s Conservative talking points. I cringe so much thinking back to my early 20s, because I was insufferable and ignorant about so many things. I did what I was supposed to, got married and started having children. I love my children and do not regret becoming a mother, but the rawness of postpartum and motherhood in general really opened my eyes up to how much society hates women and now I can’t unsee it. Especially have an autistic child (and now believing that I am also autistic). I can’t unsee how much motherhood is pushed on women, and then almost as soon as they become mothers society treats them like used trash and completely forgets about them. Expects them just to suffer in silence and swallow drugs to make them tolerate their inhumane conditions. (Of course this happens to all women in different stages of life, not just mothers) I have a great husband, truly, but even he is not immune to how much society fails women and it makes me resent him even though he truly listens to everything I say, agrees with me, and is working so hard to learn and grow and become the best version of himself. Even the best men are raised completely ignorant to what women go through every day. I feel resentment to all the men I’ve ever known, I don’t even know if any of them truly liked me, or they just wanted to sleep with me. I started noticing that whenever I’d post a selfie on social media my inbox and likes and comments would be blown up in minutes, yet if I speak about a subject that’s important to me or how I’m feeling, it’s complete crickets. I feel like my whole world has fallen apart and it’s hard to know what to do about it. I’ve been no contact with my family for 2 years now. I’ve grown apart from so many of my friends, because I have nothing in common with them anymore. I just feel angry and confused and don’t know where to go from here. I know I have a lot of trauma and emotions to work through. It’s just been such a destabilizing experience to realize that everything I thought I knew was an outright lie and I hate that my daughters have to grow up in a world like this. Anyways I’m not even really sure what my point is, but I had to type this out somewhere so thank you to anyone who read this.

Reading about this case makes me so mad. What TF kind of doctor has a woman on 14 different psych meds in such a short amount of time, multiple psych meds in combination with each other with zero knowledge of how they will interact with each other?? She would never have killed her children if she wasn’t on those meds. It’s the same thing they did to Andrea Yates years ago. I’ve literally never heard of a case where a woman killed her children due to PPD/PPP and she wasn’t on psych meds. Yet, as a woman, if you are under supported, sleep deprived, isolated and start to have a very normal emotional response to it, every around you tries to shove meds down your throat like it’s the magic cure. It’s baffling to me how people can’t see it.

So I’m in several groups on Facebook, and I can’t even believe the amount of meds these poor kids are forced onto. Autism is SO misunderstood, but I guess that’s a whole other conversation. I’ve sometimes seen before and afters of these kids and it’s like all the light drains from their eyes. They seriously give out psych meds nowadays like it’s candy and pretty much no one is told of the awful side effects, and then they are gaslighted when they experience them. These kids are so smart and I really feel like the use of these meds is causing severe brain damage before their brains even have a chance to fully develop and then the “professionals” are like “oh no that’s just how autistic people are.” Most of them already hold the opinion that nonverbal autistic children are severely cognitively impaired, simply because they can’t speak and sometimes have trouble controlling their bodies so their intelligence can’t be properly tested by neurotypical standards and so they care even less what these meds do to them as long as they are sedated and sleeping a few more hours. It honestly makes me sick to my stomach to see it happening to so many.