I [23F] feel like I hate my bf
I [23F] have been together with my boyfriend [26M] for almost 3 years. He is amazing and our relationship is perfect (almost). We don’t have any reasons to fight since we talk about everything. He is an amazing person I love everything about him and I wouldn’t change him.
However, I went through his phone twice. The first time I saw how he was talking about girls with his friends and he wanted to go out in Miami. The second time I found he texted a girl for a day and then stopped talking (he was flirting w her). I confronted him and he apologized. We took a break for a week and I decided to get back with him. He promised he wouldn’t do it again and I kinda trust him. As I said, he is amazing, but he did that to me so I don’t know what to think about him now.
All of that happened 8 months ago. It was hard at first but little by little it started to feel like at the beginning, but not exactly. The issue is that I feel like I love him when I’m not physically with him, but when I see him I don’t want to talk or I feel like I’m mad at him for no reason until a couple hours have passed and I feel like I love him again. Now we are in a long distance relationship (just for 6 months), and I feel like I miss him and love him so much, but when he calls me that feeling goes away and I feel like I don’t want to talk to him.
I really don’t know what to do, it’s such a weird thing. I truly think he is my best friend and the best boyfriend, but that resentment (i guess that’s what it is) is not going away and it always shows up when I see him or when he calls me.
It is starting to hurt the relationship because I act like I’m mad when there’s no reason to be.