To start, I thought I came to terms with being bi but I’m curious as to if anyone’s been in a similar situation as myself.
Most of my friends are queer and they have all known this for most of their lives. Even my friend who came out recently said when she thinks to her past, she sees a pattern of interest.
I, myself, haven’t had any of these wlw childhood crushes or crushes on any woman or thoughts of anyone woman other than platonically. But in high school I somehow found myself watching lesbian porn and it turned me on. But it wasn’t in a way where I wanted to be anyone of the girls or the fact that that they were girls, it was more so watching them be stimulated and wishing I was feeling that too.
But, in my past and somewhat current situation I think i’ve developed a crush on my roommate. I’m not sure if it’s a real crush or some obsession with the attention she gives me. I’ve imagined doing things with her and in theory it seems i’d like it but if I was to think of it actually happening i’d probably stop it because i’d feel very confused.
I know some people do have their “awakening” later in life but it always seems like after they realize everything makes sense. Is there other people who randomly, so to speak, had their realization without ever thinking that way before? Or am I somehow trying to convince myself of being bi because I am only surrounded by my LGBTQIA+ friends like an echo chamber?