AITA for fence sitting in my friend group?
I (19M) will my best to tell this story without making it painfully obvious who or what i’m talking about, so i’ll give only necessary bits of context.
My current extended group of friends from my home town are essentially a mix of ~10 or so people who graduated from 3 different high schools in the same city just last year. We initially got close during the pandemic because our freshman year of high school was online so we all met through mutuals. Nowadays not everyone in this assortment of people is close with each other, but I have been on good terms with everyone here and remain so to this day.
Now fast forward to the current day, where we have mostly finished freshman year of college and are approaching summer once again. Only this year, there is distinct separation within the group. Though previously, everyone maintained positive relationships despite not being so close anymore, the current state of the group is more hostile because of circumstances im about to state.
Let me introduce some characters: Tom (18M), Joanna (19F) and Stacy (18F). During freshman year of high school, Tom and Stacy dated for about 12 months before calling things off at the tail end of the pandemic. They went to different schools so their breakup wasnt much of an issue for most of us as we were able to ignore it almost completely. Later on, in senior year high school Joanna and Stacy became school mates and would see each other very often due to being in the same classes. This was a non issue since they didnt have bad blood to begin with and they even became close friends as the year progressed. During this time, Stacy also had a NEW boyfriend and by the end of senior year, they had been dating for about 3 years.
The real drama starts when Tom and Joanna start dating the summer after high school. They kept things down low but eventually Stacy found out about their ongoing relationship and had negative things to say about it.
Stacy believes that Joanna disobeyed “bro code” while Joanna thinks Stacy is crazy for even caring about the Tom situation in spite of her 3 years.
I think both sides are valid and I don’t have any strong reservations about either side. I actively try my best to hang around both sides of the drama since I am still friends with them and have been long before anything happened amongst the three. Though, the Tom/Joanna side of the situation seem to have negative thoughts about my closeness with Stacy and her posse of friends. It should be taken with a grain of salt, as thats a bit of an assumption based on Wattpad dm’s and replies to my stories with stacy and friends which to me came off as very passive aggressive. I am worried that either side will start seeing me as a fencersitter for staying in the middle of it all.
AITA for not choosing a “side” in this drama? I find the whole thing quite childish and don’t really want to involve myself in the antics, but i feel like my hand will be forced at some point.
EDIT: I should make it clear that its Joanna/Tom that are making this feel like a Civil War, as it seems that Stacy has moved past the whole thing since it happened. When I bring up the idea of a full group get together, it is Stacy who is down for anything (even if it involves Joanna/Tom) while Joanna specifically is the one which rejects anything that has to do with Stacy