u/Imaginary-Ad5921

I turned 18 today so it's my golden birthday!!✨️✨️

I hope you fucking go to hell. My mom had a healthy pregnancy but difficult birth and was scared she and my brother would die. They didn't listen to her and told her she wasn't ready yet. If he had been in any longer he would have died, he wasn't making any noise when he was being taken out, everyone thought he was dead.

Because of what happened he is autistic and for all these years I've been a glass child. I always had to do everything on my own. I was ignored and felt like a piece of shit throughout my entire childhood.

The stares in public, the lack of sympathy and help from relatives. It's so isolating. People acting like they know us well and know what we're dealing with have no idea how many times my mom and I cried together because we couldn't do it anymore. He would scream for hours whilst bashing his head into the wall over small things that would annoy him.

I freaking love that kid and at the end of the day he will always be my brother, but it's painful knowing that things could have been different if someone would have atleast helped us and listened. It's painful seeing that my mom wants to cry when she sees people with healthy children. It's painful when others look down at him because he's autistic. It's painful knowing that deep down my father feels embarrassed when we go out in public and that's the main reason why we never go out as a family.

It's just hard. I can't help feeling jealous when I see others my age having a normal life and I wonder what that feels like. I feel so miserable...

My brother has autism and every day from 6am to 10-11pm he runs around the house and makes random noises. The worst are the random shouts and screams, it drives me insane. My parents say it's not that bad and I'm being dramatic... I have misophonia and my life is literal hell, i basically live with my headphones glued to my head with white noise blasting full volume in the background. He watches cartoons/films and he "replays" his favorite scenes in his head, like he says the exact words and makes the exact sounds of the scenes. I don't mind if he just talks but the screams are so bad... sometimes i just start yelling myself so he knows what it feels like 😭😭 someone send help.