u/Imaginary-Duty-7734

Not the distance. Not the secrecy. It’s realizing your heart didn’t get the memo that this wasn’t supposed to matter.

Only love can hurt like this 🎶

I've been with AP for several months now. We broke up and went no contact for three weeks because of his immense guilt at home. He came back, I took him back (yeah, I'm stupid), and he did it again—not communicating, giving me hot and cold, shitty behavior. I wasn't asking for too much—just someone who makes me feel I matter. Right now, we are arguing as I type this because he went all day without letting me know what was going on. Does he really can't spare a minute? I'm sick of this ups and downs, but I really like him and our friendship.

Any advice would help! I have anxious attachment, and he's avoidant.

Six months.

That’s all it was.
And somehow it still managed to carve itself into places in me I didn’t expect.

We were never really “mine” or “yours.” Just two people finding comfort in the spaces between real life. Somewhere between good morning texts, stolen moments, inside jokes, longing, and silence… feelings grew.

I think that was the dangerous part. Not the sex. Not the secrecy.

The emotional intimacy.
Being seen by someone at the exact time you feel invisible in your real life is a powerful thing.
But eventually reality always taps you on the shoulder.
Kids. Spouses. Exhaustion. Emotional limits. Timing. Distance.

The constant push and pull of wanting more from something that was never built to fully hold us.
And slowly, my body started understanding what my heart didn’t want to admit yet:
love or whatever version of it this was cannot survive on inconsistency forever.

I don’t regret him.
I don’t regret us.

I think we found each other at the exact time we both needed comfort, connection, and understanding.

But some connections are only meant to teach you something… not stay forever. Funny how something that wasn’t supposed to matter this much… did.

We are hiking Sandstone Peak for sunrise and starting around 4 AM. I’m a little nervous about rattlesnakes in the dark 😅 Has anyone done this hike that early? How common are snake encounters? We’ll be bringing headlamps/flashlights and staying on the main trail. Any tips? Thanks!