My wife (27f) has been very upset at my parents (early 60) for over a year. She was pregnant with our daughter (now 8 months old) back in December 2024. I (30m) found out in January 2025, and I shared the news with my parents via text a few days later. My parents don't really live close to us, a few hour drive, so we rarely see them. 2 months went by, and my wife was about 3 months pregnant. She tells me that she's furious at my parents for not directly congratulating her this late into her pregnancy.
In their defense, she never reached out to them to deliver the news about her pregnancy so they're not ignoring her. My parents also aren't very social people or tech savvy with their phones. They did ask me how she was doing, but she said that doesn't count because I'm not the pregnant one. She compared it to a doctor asking a patient's family member on how the patient is feeling.
I had no idea this would upset her because she never brought it up until that moment. I told her it's no big deal, we can invite my parents over or go out for dinner to celebrate. She refused and told me that they're not allowed to visit, and she doesn't want to go anywhere with them. She kept telling me that she's extremely offended, and it's too late for them to apologize because she already mentioned it. She thinks their apology isn't sincere once she brings it up.
When my parents tried to reach out via text messages and phone call end of March 2025, my wife would only respond with very rude remarks and insults. Ever since, they never talked to each other again. My wife will continue to complain about my parents and how she has been so deeply disrespected by them. She has not once forgive or forgot that moment.
Our healthy daughter was born at the hospital on September 2025. My parents were asking about the baby and wanted to show up to the hospital. I kept telling them we're about the be discharged and it's not necessary. This is probably my fault, but I just didn't want another argument to break out. Today, our daughter is almost 8 months old. My parents only seen their grandchild via pictures that I send to them.
Currently, it has been over a year since my wife has been holding this grudge. She thinks my parents are terrible people who ruined and traumatized her pregnancy experience. Every argument we had, she will just circle back to my parents as ammo. She blames them for everything, and I end up defending them. I told her she's being stubborn, and it's ridiculous that this has gone on for so long. She needs to let go, forgive them, and move on. She refuses and doesn't listen because she thinks her reaction is justified.
She thinks I'm being inconsiderate and part of them problem for siding with my parents. I don't think my parents are completely innocent, but I don't see any point in letting this drag on forever. I only side with my parents because I think my wife needs to get over her grudge and accept my parents apology so we can all move forward. AITA?