Would it be reasonable to reach out after a few weeks if her schedule changes, or should I leave it alone? I am (26M) and her (29F)
First of all, I am a bit conscious of making this post because it comes from an extremely vulnerable place, and I am trying to get as much information as possible on whether I should try something or it is time to just move on and completely forget about this girl.
We met in July, and had 4 amazing dates. After our 4th date, she asked to not see each other the following week because she was overwhelmed at work and needed to "catch up" in her free days. I gave her space and time, so I only communicated here and there for the rest of the week. At the week mark I messaged her and asked how things were and if she would like to go on another date, to what she agreed, so we saw each other and during this date we had a conversation where she expressed her being concerned of not having enough time to dedicate to the relationship and that she felt it would be unfair to me, as she did the same to someone she dated before, and did not want it to end the same way. I said that I understood and that I appreciated her telling me, I was open to taking a slower pace and see where things go as we both navigate busy schedules.
I deal with a full time job, part time job, and full time college. She dealt with three jobs, so we definitely had a lot going on.
Things start slowdown a bit, we decide to go to mass together one Sunday, then we hang out at a local place a few days later, and afterwards we had a two weeks "break", as she needed a week to catch up with work, and the week after her parents would be in town so she would also be unavailable. Fast forward, the two weeks pass, her parents leave so I ask her to see each other and we agree on a day, we meet, and I felt that "date" was rushed, as it only lasted one hour. Later that day I asked if I could see her again during the week to what she suggested we could do something the day after or the next day, I arranged something for the day after, I felt it was okay, I had to leave at a specific time to be at school, so I had set a specific time I'd be leaving at.
A few hours after the date I receive a message from her that basically explained that since she explained her scheduling issues, she had already a foot out the door, and that she was trying to make it work because of how wonderful I was, but that she felt it simply wasn't going to work and that we would be delaying the inevitable.
I respected her decision and said farewell.
However, although she never mentioned it, I knew for a fact that her schedule would get better by the end of this month, so I was willing to keep things slow. And I am now debating whether it is a good idea to reach out by then and try to give it another shot; I really liked this girl, and I would really want to at least give that a try and see if there is anything that can be recovered.
For anyone who's been in a similar situation, would you consider reaching out once the practical circumstances had changed, or would you take the other person's decision as final and not reopen the conversation? I'd appreciate honest perspectives, including reasons not to reach out.