u/Imaginary-Monk-6974

I’m writing this at 3:30am from not being able to sleep.
Married for 13 years and it’s very rocky right now. 2 kids.
One kid has dove deep into the sports world which my husband coaches.
It’s consumed our life and I’m having a hard time coping with the time commitment.
We talk about constantly so communication isn’t the challenge here. In fact I’m so tired of talking about it.

Essentially, practices 2x weekly they’re gone from 4-8:30pm
Then weekend tournaments - 5 games, Saturday 7-3pm and Sunday 8-2pm
Practices are 30 min away so my other kid and I stay home
Tournament weekends they’re in deep playing mode so my other kid and I essentially watch and hang out alone.
We also both have demanding careers.

My husband also commutes one day a week Tuesdays and doesn’t get home until 8pm. So essentially 3 nights a week we don’t see each other.
I also occasionally travel for work.
We’re essentially living separate lives.
Because of my other kid and the fact that we don’t have any family here, I’m incredibly isolated. I have little consistent friends. I workout often but that’s only an hour a day.

It feels unsustainable to me and I absolutely do not feel thriving in this marriage. I don’t want him to quit because he loves it and he’s a good guy and is spending quality time with my daughter. But it’s so extremely unbalanced that it’s driving a giant wedge in between us.
I’ve been feeling this way for 6 months, we started counseling, etc. but every day it feels worse and worse and i get lonelier and lonelier.
Please help give me perspective that isn’t just yelling at me for being selfish.

I’m struggling with this. My husband coaches my daughter’s travel softball team. I’m bored out of my mind watching alone while he’s coaching and she’s playing. 5 games in one weekend. I’m starting to not come to all of the games but still it’s just awful. I used to be very involved with the team but there is some coach drama and effectively my role got squashed. Now I just sit there alone watching. I’m not a sports person. We also don’t have family near by so no one else comes to watch my daughter play. I am trying to chat more with the other parents but they all have their friends or family there, or partner. Here I am sitting alone. We’re in marriage counseling over this. It could be one of the final straws of our marriage due to the resentment on both sides. He’s mad that I’m not enjoying it and I’m mad that it’s taken over our entire family. It’s all we talk about. He’s trying very hard. Today wasn’t terrible and I only went to one game, but he asked honestly how I felt and since I don’t have a grand ‘ol time watching we’re back to square one of resentment. Please tell me I’m not alone here. I feel like I’m the only one who feels this way as a coaches wife.